Rocky Rinaldi's profile picture

Published by

published
updated

Category: Blogging

Intro & Holiday Hopeless Romantic

Sooo...first off A+ on whoever created this site ...2020's saving grace.

I'm officially a spacehey.com fan.

I'm Rocky, I'm from NJ but my hearts in LA. I'm a Hairstylist and work at Homegoods but in my night life I work for EMONITE LA. We throw parties around the country and play emo music and hang out like when spaces like this used to exist. I occasionally dress in Black Parade get up at the parties which always adds to the fun. During the COVID world we host online parties on twitch @emonite.tv. If you're into pop punk, emo or just music in general let's be friends.

1 WEEK BEFORE XMAS
So life's pretty busy and I find myself in that pit of sorrow in-between the new year and Thanksgiving. Everyone seems to be around the people they love and so happy and I just always feel kind of alone and sad. I'm surrounded by my family and my daughter who lives with me so I feel so stupid feeling alone but I do. I just want someone to share these holiday experiences with. I tend to latch onto the last person that brought me just honest raw love in my life. We dated years ago but now are just distant friends. She deals with a lot of depression and has had close calls being on suicide watch and all and I just wish I could be there for her in her life. I feel like I could be there for her and care for her. I mean I want to be there for her. I bought her 32 white & red roses for that hopefully arrive on Christmas eve and I sent a care package with a mix-CD, a Emperors New Groove t-shirt that says "No Touchy" (lol), and a music box shaped like a piano (because she plays piano) with her name engraved on it. I hope she likes it and that it brings a smile to her face this Christmas. I just want so badly to make her happy because sometimes just the thought of her makes me happy. The thought of her being in pain just crushes me and I feel like responsible even though I know I shouldn't. I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't help it, I've tried read thousands of book and failed attempt to book a therapist. I'm just still in Love with this person and I feel I always will. 

I've been practicing acceptance and gratitude. I'm grateful for my family and friends and I'll try not to self loath and cry this Christmas because truly I'm not alone this holiday season. This was great I miss being able to just blog my feelings out and let it out...and let go... hopes to many more.



3 Kudos

Comments

Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )

SEBASTIAN CRUZ

SEBASTIAN CRUZ's profile picture

Heyooo Rocky!

Sounds like you're doing best! You have emotional intelligence and simply having the awareness is mostof the battle because then you can make clear choices to feel better. I'm quite romantic as well. I didn't know how much I could love love until this past relationship that ended a few month ago. Our relationship couldn't handle the pressures of this year. My best suggestion is to stay close to non-lyrical music and be easy on yourself. Entertain yourself with some sexy FaceTiming and some true connections with your friends new and old. It's normal to have people around and still feel lonely. Although I am still in-love with my toxic ex, I felt lonely for the last 6 months of the relationship which was new to me. Keep your head up and when LA opens back up, invite us out to the club. I miss going out and hearing loud ass music.
Cheers!
Sebastian


Report Comment