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considering a photograph once held and nearly forgotten
in the form of the modern love letter
to the ________ before the comma
i’ve considered lying to you the honest breath too weak to carry words any distance but even this leaves me cowering behind pages unwilling to face the survey by your eyes your eyes i have built a mausoleum behind my house deep in the woods the woods it holds a horde of bodies bodies armies of pens which have died vainly on your name your name spirit why do you haunt me me it would be painless for you to slip away away yet you linger inside and around the edges of my guilt my guilt i have tried i have TIRED trying to bring a literal conclusion to this tome of veracity your omniscient gaze requires from us solid yet fading beasts yet yet yet as fading becomes more solid every glance toward your image (resting coyly against the backdrop of hellfire) brings the desire the burning to know that amused grin you hide behind your misty fingers misty fingers i would have lied and filled this song with capital letters of glory victory triumph but as i dissolve into your stare i know you would see right through me through me
sincerely
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Blackbird (Dale Winslow)
The repetitions are at once a memory echo and a future prediction - they pull the reader along, they haunt the stream making this piece more powerful. The impact of having this prose structure is excellent - the energy would diminish if breaks were inserted. Bravo, dude :)
Dude..... that made me smile. You smoking some? Lol. Thanks wonderful you. I just read my way through your book like a kid with a bag of cookies. Glad you liked this rework of a way earlier piece. I think I first wrote this back in the myspace era.
by William; ; Report
Steve
I need another go at this streaming pace. its a difficult read. not you're usual structure. that said it's a raw look into the vulnerability of our human condition! well done mate! Bravo! Bravo!!
!!!!!!!!
also I'm feeling Simpson would love this piece!! :-)!!!!!!
by Steve; ; Report
ok got it now!! It's brilliant!!! you're a trixie hobbit word crafter!! wonderful work!!
by Steve; ; Report
no fickady pudding for you!!! :-) LOL!!!
by Steve; ; Report
Field goal!
by William; ; Report