Awakening Your Inner Exhausted Pigeon

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Like a phoenix, rising from the ashes, the exhausted pigeon rises from the comforter. No sparks or flames accompany this ascent, only thoughts of smashing the alarm clock and dark circles under the eyes. The night owls are still in bed, the morning birds are already loud and annoying. But our dear pigeon, for whatever reason, has to stay up and do what needs to be done. Sometimes the pigeon uses caffeine or frequent naps to stay awake when needed. This lifestyle is usually the result of work hours, appointments or other important engagements that cannot be avoided. There is no one right way to be an exhausted pigeon, but there are tricks that can help. It's all a matter of finding the way that works for you.

Let me start by explaining something about myself: I am not a morning person. I have never in my life been a morning person. My mum frequently says that I am the only toddler she has ever wanted to give a cup of espresso. And she doesn't even drink coffee! I can't remember a single morning that I have risen from my bed, pleasant and ready to face the world. I am not just groggy. I wake up with a pounding headache, noise sensitivity, light sensitivity, poor balance and coordination...and yes, grumpy as hell. I've been told this sounds like a hangover, but I've never had a hangover, so I would not know. This is not the result of caffeine addiction. It happened when I only drank herbal teas. It's just how I wake up...and I still chose to study education...and work at a public school. I was destined to leave my night owl days behind me, and become the exhausted pigeon we know and love. I get asked how I do it; honestly there is a lot that goes into it. I'll share my madness, and you are welcome to try or disregard as many of the methods within it as you like.

This may come as no surprise, but the makings of a smooth morning really start the night before. And there is more to it than having dinner and going to bed early. Since I am not naturally a morning person, fumbling around my closet is not an  ideal activity when I have limited time. What normally takes 5 minutes could take 15 in my morning time. So I asked myself, "How can I make my morning easier?" One way was having an outfit already out and ready. I know people who do this every evening, but I prefer to just put them all together at once on Sunday, so I don't have to think about it the rest of the week. I have enough daily tasks, and arranging outfits is boring. For me, it's better to get it all done at once. In a similar vein, having either a breakfast prepped or something you can just toss into the toaster can be the start to a good day. I took this prep for the next day even further. If I needed it in the morning, I made it easy to reach. This included vitamins, meds, skincare products and jewelry.  Do whatever it takes to make your morning more convenient. After about a year and a half of doing this for myself, a lot of getting ready has become muscle memory. That helps me work through the morning grogginess and slowly wake up as I do so.

Now that you have set everything up, there's the big issue: getting enough sleep. I can tell you what works for me, most of the time, but this is where you really need to experiment. What turned me around was having a strict wind down routine. There's never a guarantee of good sleep, but I found the set up that gives me my best chance. Obviously, I start early. I go to bed so early that I can get at least 7 hours of sleep and then have 2-2 1/2 hours to get ready in the morning. Ideally, I have all the getting ready for bed steps done by a certain time. I make a cup of Sleepytime tea, take my melatonin, and then get cozy in bed. To help me relax, I watch a show that makes me happy. Not just one I enjoy, but one that specifically makes me laugh and feel happy. It can't be a new show, because then I try to stay up and watch more of it.  This is often where I end up falling asleep, but if not I turn my lights out after I take my meds.

The next morning, waking up is still difficult. Try as I might, I can't completely leave the night owl behind. But with everything already set out, it is easy to go through the motions. Taking my dog out first thing certainly helps jump start my awareness. After I do that, I get dressed, brush my teeth, and go through my skincare routine. By the end most of the grogginess has faded. Most importantly, while I do this, I listen to something that makes me laugh. Usually this means late night comedy show hosts on YouTube. I started doing this in my first year as an educator. I was helping an English teacher with an extremely unruly class. As she struggled to keep things in check at work, she was also struggling with the fallout of being rear-ended on her way home. After she got her car back, the students and I noticed a change in her. She still had a lot on her plate, but her sense of humor was back. When we mentioned this, she told us that the garage had set her radio to a comedy station, and now she listens to that on her way to work every morning. It didn't fix her problems, but it helped her feel a little better as she went into work. Most days, I wouldn't say that it has a lasting effect on me, but it definitely starts me off on the right foot.

The last thing I do before leaving is have breakfast. This is the biggest reason I get up so early. This final step helps me feel ready to face the work day, and any time I have to take it to work with me, I feel a bit off for the rest of the day. I try my best to make breakfast a consistent ritual, and treat myself to a quiet cup of tea. Yes, it's black tea. I'm a functioning, exhausted pigeon, not a god. Some of us benefit from a caffeine kick. The type of tea is not the most important part. The most important part is sitting in that quiet moment, and making it to the bottom of the cup, and enjoying each sip. I find this time very grounding, and it's nice to have that moment to myself, before I spend the rest of the day teaching and caregiving. By the time I finish this, The morning grogginess is completely gone, and I am mentally ready to work with other people...even the early birds.

If there is only one tip you try from this, I hope it is that last one: Take some time for yourself. Every day. Do something, anything, that is only for you. It isn't selfish, it's necessary for your wellbeing. This is my way of surviving the exhausted pigeon lifestyle, and you are welcome to try as many or as few of my tricks as you like. I hope you find something useful in it, and are able to rise from the comforter and return to it with happiness.

(Image Source: mikekearn, Imgur)