Vent? Diary? Idk I need someone who’s relating to me or else I’m gonna go crazy 

Im not allowed to meet my friends anymore (cuz of my parents) and I have religious trauma and I’m afraid that everyone is gonna die soon and ughh I hate it sm.

I just want to live my teenage wtf. But yea I couldn’t even live my childhood. No wonder why I can’t live my teenage. 

I never was a kid- I wanted to play with my friends and toys but no. I couldn’t live my childhood cuz of my mom and her religion. „We have to help everyone they’re gonna die soon. We have to tell them who god rly is.“ Okay mom. 

Now I’m 14 btw and I have covid for the first time after 2 years. 

I don’t wanna get older I wanna stay 14 forever even tho everything sucks rn. 

Cuz I’m gonna miss everything when I get older. 

I’m trying to „enjoy“ everything I do. I even enjoy feeling sad „as a teenager“.

Im so scared. 

Is everything a lie? Our life? God? What if humans changed everything? We don’t even know what’s in our food and water. We don’t know anything. What if everything is poisoned? What if we can live more than 100 years but we can’t because of the food we eat, the water we drink and the air we  breathe-? 

Im so confused. I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake. I don’t know what’s good and what’s bad. 

That’s why I’m doing everything I want. 

God may be real but what if they’re hiding the real god? Like what if bible is a lie. What if religions exist to distract us from the reality? 

Idk