enough

ENOUGH

my therapist said

i've not grieved - enough.

i’ve skipped from shock to 

getting on. i’ve missed

the moment (moment being a ‘the’)

i can move on, easily.

i can turn off a car 

on saturday morning

and go into a grocery

for eggs, for breakfast

i can also burst

into tears, without

a moments notice

cursing

my pain,

my frustration,

my fears,

my confusion,

my memories,

my emptiness,

my inability

to count my change

my therapist asked

‘have you learned to grieve? have

you found ‘the’ moment?’

i said ‘grief is not a ‘the’,

but an ‘a’,

which comes when it wishes,

again and again’

it's sometimes loud and sometimes

quiet, like a very young child

it can also be with you

in the morning, reminding you

to eat a good breakfast, wear

your cleanest under clothes

when you go out,

in public.