Young And Disabled - The Impact

Young And Disabled - The Impact



Hello all, this will be an informative blog dedicated to my experiences as a young twenty-three-year-old who has become disabled within the last three years of my life. Based on my profile, I look like a simple Undertale fanfic writer, which is true! Writing is one of my most enjoyable pastime activities, but there are always things I wish to write about that didn’t fit into fanfiction. 


I have several medical conditions, which I will address to bring awareness too and help others who are young and disabled learn that the world has not ended just because we have our limitations.


Making peace with the world starts with making peace within ourselves. 


Easier said than done, of course.


The first condition I will discuss will be a hot one, but I have Tourette Syndrome. I’ve had it since childhood and was diagnosed over three years ago. I regularly see a Neurologist who specializes in Motor Disorders and Tic Disorders. I take medication to help regulate my tics and attend therapy, CBIT (Cognitive Behavioral Intervention for Tics). It is not the source of my disability, but it does add a few life challenges. 


The next will be PNES (Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures), which was one of the reasons I considered filing for disability. I can no longer legally drive in my state, which caused me to be no longer able to work and provide for myself. I have anywhere from one to over twenty or thirty seizures a day, as it can vary based on environment, stress, fatigue, etc. I was heavily medicated to help lessen the severity. Still, the seizures were treatment-resistant, so I stopped taking my medication (at my doctor’s recommendation). I now attend different therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help manage what I still can.


The third and final condition is my most debilitating, which eventually made me no longer able-bodied. FND (Functional Neurological Condition, if you would like to know more, please read through this website as recommended by my neurologist to help better understand the condition https://www.neurosymptoms.org). FND has caused me to lose my ability to walk, impaired my speech, and affected my arms. I have other symptoms such as bladder issues, chronic pain, and vertigo. Not all at once, of course, but you get the idea.


That was quite the list, so I’m sure you’re tired of reading through a silly list of diagnoses. My goal for this blog series is to talk about how disabilities and becoming disabled affect younger groups and their impact on mental health. 


I was devastated when I lost my ability to walk. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I hadn’t done anything wrong; I was an active person! I enjoyed hiking and traveling (even if I couldn’t always afford it) and had so much of the world to explore. What had I done to deserve this?


The answer is…Nothing.


Sometimes, people are just dealt a different hand in life. When you play poker and get a bad hand, do you blame the dealer or the deck of cards? Neither, its entirely in the hands of Lady Luck. I just happened to get something I wasn’t expecting or necessarily prepared to deal with.


When I got the diagnosis, and my Neurologist informed me there was no cure, only treatment to help lessen symptoms, I became extremely bitter. I felt like I was grieving over someone I used to be. I was angry at myself, my body, and the world, and if there was a God, he was on my shit list for putting me through this. I still deal with bouts of anger and bitter resentment. For over six years, I could drive myself anywhere I wanted, get dressed by myself, shower, and do basic things that we don’t realize are essential to our routine and person. Our sense of self derives from our ability to be independent, our own person.


I felt as though that had been taken from me. My sense of self-worth, pride, and ability to be myself had been stripped from me for absolutely no reason other than fate. It was infuriating. 


So, how did I handle this?


Truth be told, I haven’t gotten a good grasp on an answer for it. I still struggle with these feelings; watching my family and friends live their lives happily while I’m stuck at home hurts. It’s not easy, but it can be managed.


I tried finding things I was passionate about, something that gave me drive. I may not have the same goals as before, but I’ll be damned if I’d let my disability take it from me. I didn’t have to give up the things I loved; I just had to find another way to achieve them. I became more and more passionate about my writing, working towards a book and even my fanfictions. It was silly, but it was fun! I took a step in a new direction, carving a new path for myself. If the normal road ahead was closed, I’d just have to take a detour. 


Sometimes, taking the smallest step in the right direction can be our most important. Tiptoe into the water if you have to, but take it. 


Now, you’re probably thinking, “Okay, cool, but what does this have to do with young people?”.


Have you ever tried parking in a handicap spot as a young twenty-something person? Let me tell you; it doesn’t go over well. I have had too many interactions of harassment of older people getting out of their cars or walking up to me, demanding I get out of the spot for someone else who ‘needs it’.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes as an example.


“You don’t look disabled, though.” - A lady who harrassed me until I got out of the car and waved my cane at her.


“I don’t think that’s real. Did you get it off amazon?” - Another random lady that stared at my cane as I tried to leave my vehicle.


“You’re not old enough to be using that spot.” An older gentleman approached my husband and me as we were loading our groceries into the back of the car.


“I’m gonna call the cops if you don’t move; give me that sign so they can check it.” ANOTHER random woman that approached our car as we tried to get out to go into the store. She was referring to our handicap parking permit. 


I have plenty more of the most insane questions I’ve been asked as a young disabled person. Invasive and rude questions and comments that should never be said to anyone! The stigma surrounding what a disability ‘should’ look like is baffling. Disabilities don’t discriminate, and they sure as hell don’t play favorites. I can barely go grocery shopping without being harassed or stalked because some people cannot comprehend that younger people can be disabled.


I have several theories as to why the stigma has gotten so bad, such as marketing tactics towards the elderly, misinformation, and a general lack of knowledge on disabilities. However, what causes people to think younger people cannot be disabled? Where does the idea that illness can only affect certain age groups begin? I don’t know, but I’d sure love an answer and possibly a fix for it. 


All in all, it’s a slippery slope of mental health issues, stigmatism, ableism, and trying to advocate for fundamental human rights as someone who is disabled. 


I hope this gave some insight into what younger disabled folks go through and that you stick around to read the following few blogs. Next time, I plan to focus more on one topic and dive deeper into mental health, advocacy, and experiences. 


Thank you for reading <3



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