I did a fucky wucky

so a little more than a month ago some of my friends had beef with another one of my friends. And since I'm a little pissbaby bitch I started talking shit about said friend with other said friends cus i didn't want them to get mad at me and kick me out the friend group. The friend we were talking shit about found out and got really pissed and now she isn't part of the group anymore. Fast forward to like 2 days ago. I missed being able to hang out together as a group and i wanted to make up (or at least try to). So at like 1am I made a gc on Discord and typed a long ass paragraph trying to apologize again and then i deleted the app. I'm scared as shit to go back on. I don't know how they're going to react but i doubt it's gonna be a good reaction. 

So now i'm sitting in my bed at 3 in the afternoon having a panic attack and eating taco bell