gender and life is confusing and i dont like it

for the last couple of months i can't actually see myself following like traditional sh!t (marrying a man and having babies) which is all fine and good but i don't know what to do with my life. i feel like im' just on a road leading to my death and i'm just walking on it for the sake of walking on it. i dont have any real goals aside from living which is just compulsive at this point. maybe someday i'd go away from my family but that will be really hard for me as i love them but considering the fact i am bisexual (and possibly even trans but idk anymore) and that they are very religious then it's a very low chance that they'll accept me for who i am. i actually did come out to them once but i think they already forgot about it which i'm thankful for. anyways there reaction was more similar to anger but im not really sure so to be on the safe side i'll just say they are pretty pissed off. i don't like that feeling. it's not as if i have body dysmorphia, i don't look at the mirror and immediately think " wow i fvcking hate this body i wish i can just go be another gender" but im certain that if i was ever given a chance, somehow someway, to change my gender i'll take it. i dont really have a strong connection to my gender im just going along for the ride. it's really confusing i dont' know what to do and i don't what i am anymore