16/03/22

hi :)

i didn't feel very good today. i haven't felt so good for a while but i actually cried today. i still did my assignments. i went outside and played with the dogs. i spent time with my parents. i ate and i rested.

i still don't feel very good. but i'm okay.

i'm listening to youth by citizen. it's my favourite album of theirs. my friend bought me a tape of the album and gave me his spare tape deck. that was really cool of him :)

i have been struggling to create things lately. which isn't very helpful because i have lots of assessments that need to be done for university. i had to draw some self-portraits for a class and i avoided it for weeks because i didn't want to have to stare at my reflection for a long time. but i did it. i like the way it came out.

i don't have a job at the moment but i really need to find one. i am running out of money.

today i thought about how sick i felt. about whether it was enough for me to go to hospital. it's not enough but i wish it was. i had the gross thought that i wished i had cancer or some horrible illness that meant i could get treatment and escape from the outside world. but that's a selfish and unhealthy way to think.

my parents and i have barely left the house for the last three weeks. we got flooded in for almost a week then we needed to quarantine for the week after that. unfortunately we all got sick so we have had to spend another week in isolation. i'm starting to wish i could just get out to sit by the beach and read. i just don't have the time for that at the moment. so much work. so much pressure. so many family gatherings. so much to catch up with. so much.

i'm going to listen to the album nostalgia by chase atlantic and try and sleep now.

i hope you're okay, ily

gn <3

Published by SKAB

16/03/22

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