My life

So if you see something I wrote wrong like words or smth else

I'm sorry it's just that my first language is not English, it's very different than English. if you're interested it's Bulgarian.

So to get to know who I am I will say some things about my childhood.

So I was very different from the other boys.

I was very girly and I liked the girl stuff like dolls, make up, hairstyles, and even clothes!

It was not easy for me, I was bullied a lot if you were in my country you will know. The Balkan traditions are very strict, you always have to be like a real men from a very young age, but me... I wasn't into that stuff my parents supported me, but only my dad didn't but do I blame him? No, I was a very good kid, especially when I was at my grandma's (she's my dad's mom) she was the best grandma I've ever had.

My parents divorced and as long as I remember I was 5 or 6 and I knew what a divorce was but anyway, i was heartbroken but my mom seemed like kinda happy, but I knew she loved him. He had anger issues but he never dared to hit me, or my mom he only... Yelled but it was still sacry I was lucky he wasn't abusive tho. When I was at kindergarten I was playing only with the girls and of course the teachers saw that. They were forcing me to play with the boys, and when they did it I was just staring or I wasn't playing I was playing alone, it was very sad and the fact that the teachers was doing this made me think if I was weird.

I had a friend her name was Lena, she was my best friend in the kindergarten, but when we graduated the kindergarten, we stopped talking. I was starting school, and when I was first grade I was very happy kid, if we don't mention that I was still girly. Oh I almost forgot, in the kindergarten I was abused by the teachers I remember one time when I had enough of this and told my grandma (my mom's mother) and she liked making scandals, I told her that I was abused. she went into the kindergarten, and she said if they did anything to me again she will sue them and other stuff. They we're scared af. Then they stopped abusing me, but I was already closed inside of me and I stopped socializing and just watched the kids play.

And I enjoyed watching them, but made me sad at the same time. That was when I became "quiet kid" and "weird kid" I had a lot of friends tho, well not a lot but I had some, I was with them all the time and they we're girls ofc. I was little when I had my first phone I was like 7 or 8 and then time passed, and that's the time when I found out about FNaF (Five nights at Freddy's) it became fast my favorite game even tho it was sacry af at that time like it was 2016. And I loved the fandom, I just loved everything about it. I was like 11 years old when I found about p0rn. I found it when I was searching how to download Minecraft for free 😭.

Then...yuh I was addicted or something, and my mom found out about this and she grounded me ofc, then my dad found out and I knew I was screwed. And talking about my dad I was completely distanced form him because he's a distributor or idk how to say it on English he was just delivering thing's around Europe, and I wasn't talking to him often. I was probably like 12 when I found out about gay p0rn and I watched only that. God I sound so weird, but that's my life like wtf. 

I was 13 when I had like kinda sexu4l contacts with friends, we haven't had s3x it was just like we've j3rk3d off and I think that was it I think. I was 3rd grade when I strated to finally get to be social and having friends. But then 5th grade started and there everything changed it was 2020 I think, but it was worse only for school because I was bullied in school. For now my best year was 2020 I had a lot of friends there I was going outside with 20 people we we're outside like a whole neighborhood it was the best thing I could ask for we played so many games, and it was fun. 

One of my favorite experiences was when we we're on the roof on the mall there was a shipping carts, we we're playing with them. We used to play a game where one of us was going inside the cart, and then on the other cart another person was going inside of a different cart. We we're slamming the carts, one in other (sorry if I said it wrong I just don't know how to explain it)

We we're doing so many crazy stuff, we used to go to abandoned building that was tall like a building with 4 floors, we we're going on top and we we're smoking cigarettes there, it was so good I didn't want that year to end.

2021 started...I was 6th grade my old best friend form the kindergarten Lena was moved in my school. It was the first day of school we didn't even talk, but I was social there and when we we're dismissed from school, I decided to text her on messenger.

I told her - hey wanna go out and like do something. She said yes, and I was with my friend it was awkward and cringe at first, but we got over it. Then days passed we became best friends! It was perfect until my friend's started to drop me out because when I was with her I didn't had to hide my girlyness.

I got used to be girly when I was with her and then everyone dropped me out because they thought I was gay but I really wasn't. I still think I'm bi sexual, but I don't like banging with girls, I like banging with boys. But I didn't want to have a relationship with boys I wanted to have relationships with girls, but no-one understands. So 2021 was kind of a good year for somethings I was trying to make my friendships again but nothing worked out, so I was sticking around with Marlena. 

In 2021 she became like kinda toxic but it was the middle of 2021 then in the end she became so toxic, so rude, and even she was giving her ego right in front of me she's so in love with herself, her word's started hurting me. But I knew she still loved me, even if she didn't show it.

Then I met the person who saved me from many sh(self hurts). His name is Mark, our friendship was perfect, but I realized he was so quiet and shy, and I knew he wasn't like that. Then I introduced him to Lena... The worst mistake that I ever did. Their friendship was so toxic that I didn't even wanted to be around them. Then their friendship offended mine with Mark. I personally think that I made Mark more confident, and more bossy

so we started to fight more and more. then eventually we blocked each other becuase of Lena, becuase their friendship was so toxic and they always fight, so Lena had enough of  this and said - "I will give you time to decide which one to decide to be with. Me or him" i was in shock i didn't  wanted to loose Mark but i didn't want to lose Lena too.

Now because Lena was my irl(in real life) best friend  i chose her, in that time Mark  was in a call with us, and heard all of that that i had to decide which one to block, he knew i was going to stay with her, so he muted himself, and he said that he had a breakdown.

at first when i had to decide i didn't decide at the moment because  me and Martin we're playing Fortnite and it was when the Arianna Grande event was almost ready to start so i said "I will decide after the event" then Lena left the voice call, and me and Mark started to talk. It was awkward but i apologized to him, and said that i will be choosing Lena and he understanded me. the event ended and it was time for me to block him, but i only blocked him on his main profile. We we're talking on his alt and then when time passed Lena realized that i was talking with someone on discord. so she asked me if i was talking to Mark, i said no. I've hided the fact that i was talking with Mark. 

then she saw that i was texting him at school and said that i broke the promise but i never really said that i promise that i won't text him, like miss girl you can't tell me who to text.

Then she asked me to add Mark again so she can apologize to him. I added him and on the first day everything was okay but then time passed, they started fighting again. Damn they really aren't  for each other. but anyway if you're already bored im almost done with the story, but just so you know that's not all that's  just lika a introducing, so yuh.

then they started fighting again, the same same thing Lena said to choose her or him blah, blah, blah i chose this time Mark so i dropped off Lena.but then 2 or 1 i don't really remember she was acting like nothing happened, at first i didn't said anything and what do you expect me to say i was sad that i dropped her out, so we became friends it didn't seem to bother Mark but i knew it did.

The next time we we blocked each other was dumb, but it's still a thing.

so a skin in Fortnite came out that was so hot, and even it's still for me. So i said to Mark that I liked the skin, and he said that it's ugly and it's not hot, and when i tell you that I had a shitty day, I really mean it.

So we started fighting and we end up blocking each other.

I made a expose account for him, that there I would post cringe pictures of him and say shitty things for him.

I followed everyone of his friends on Instagram, and that eventually saw the expose page, and showed him the account.

He texted me, and knew it was me, but I decided to pretend it wasn't me.

So I told him I was hired by someone random which I won't say his name because he's not involved in this. So eventually I gave up and said it was me, and of course we started talking and became friends again.

Everything was perfect for a while untill one day, Mark decided to add his friend to our group chat. She was just joking around until Lena decided to fight with the girl.

Then I came and started to defend Lena, Mark decided to join the fight too, we ended up blocking each other AGAIN.

months passed by and I was at my lowest, there because I was too sad that so many time passed without texting him.

So I came up with the idea to make Lena unblock Mark so we can "Joke around" with him. Remember I didn't want to joke with him...yuh so i unblocked him too and apologized to him by saying that I need him and I loved him, so we became friends again.

That was our recent block, and we're still best friends, we fought again, but we didn't block each other. It was because I went outside with my friend who bullied him, but it was online because mark is my online best friend.

Y'all thank you for reading my life! 

Btw that's not all, I have many things to say.

Sorry if I put periods and other stuff where they aren't supposed to be, im still learning the language.