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They tell me I'm worthless
I tell them, "I know."
They tell me to just die
So I say, "Don't worry, I'll go."
Every day I wake up
Wishing I had not
Outside I fake I'm ok
Inside my emotions die and rot
Faking a smile is easy
To convince others you're fine
Throwing on a smile and a laugh
Even when it's all just a lie
Knowing full well blades are all you have
Red lines on your arm the only proof you can still feel
Painful cuts on your arm the only thing real
Yet even blood and painful scars don't last
And soon even that relief comes to pass
Until all that is left is an empty shell
Where once existed a garden alive and well
Now all that remains is an empty husk
A reminder of what was once human
Painless and blissful death ever looming
Drawing ever closer with arms wide open
Promises to comfort with the sleep of the eternal
Rest for souls worn weary and grim
Tired of the weight of the world
Ready for that sleep of eternal bliss
This indeed is my last true wish
That even in death I may yet find a solace warm and welcome
A respite from the voices in my head
And those who wish to do me harm
Perhaps one day like me they will see
That complete and utter surrender to death's bitter call
Is indeed the sweetest gift of all
So blade in hand and arm laid bare
Mind broken, body barely breathing
Ready to give in to those who bid me die
All the while my heart constantly grieving
Ultimately my breathing slows
Until my heart and breath, like my blood goes
Draining down to the last few drops of dull crimson
Having lost the will live and to fight
I welcome the darkness
Which even now crowds in on my sight
Until all that remains is silence of the grave
Perhaps now I may yet finally sleep the sleep of the peaceful
That cold harsh world above me continuing on
While I lie below and become no more than a memory
The voices at long last now are all still
And at long last I may finally be at peace
Everything finally calm and silence never having been sweeter
For only in death do I find the love and acceptance
That in life was a never-ending battle
Always fought alone and uphill
And a wish I found always out of arm's reach
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