reflections

i must reflect

if my mind is a forest i'm constantly exploring, moments like this are like stumbling into a clearing. suddenly the earth is clear and my trajectory is directly in front of me. i know where i'm going.

i think it gets harder at night, because i unfortunately don't possess any night vision. i often find myself tripping through the woods, my feet catching on stumps and roots. god i think my face has been in the dirt and mud no short of a thousand times.

my loved ones are these little floating lights that press me further on my journey, and who am i not to listen to them? they do nothing but speak wisdom and love and try to help keep the trail illuminated for me.

there's such a freedom in following a path meant for me and nobody else. it's been so out of reach foe so long and now i'm here. it's not a confidence like arrogance it gives me, but more of a confidence of my place.

if anything the confidence i'm finding is more like relief. because finally, i have a place. i have things that are mine. peace seems like a viable option, even when night falls.

all this to say, i know i'm going to be okay. nothing lasts forever, not peace, nor joy, nor sorrow. not even me! but all the little bits of endless infinities the world has to offer are too beautiful not to stick around for. as long as i'm allowed💚