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do you want to make your life easier? how about harder! how about both?
- put the box part of your laptop charger in the fridge while you are using it! (keeps from being hot but significantly decreases mobility)
- staart sleeping with a tiny clown doll every night! (fun but the one time you can't find it and haven't slept in 30 hours you will get way too close to crying)
- put leftovers in fridge! (you don't have to take out trash that night but you will in a week when you still haven't eaten them!)
- dont shower. (save time but stinky after day 5)
- drink water by using a spray bottle to spritz it directly down your throat! (tastes really good but activates gag reflex)
- stop texting your dad. (no more annoying phone calls but you will feel a crippling sense of guilt in two weeks when you haven't responded to his past five texts and he texts you again using your childhood nickname "monkey butt")
- dont think aboout your gender. ever. (too complicated just put facepaint on and call it a day)
- hate yourself! (hate yourself! but hate yourself!)
- start enjoying the stupidest things in life (less compliments but the joy i get from wearing white crew length socks is indescrbiale)
- learn actual lessons in your life and break patterns (less whirlwind one-sided obsession-based romances but more obsession-based consumption of media and it feels the exact same)
- stop feeling embarrassment (funny stories for friends and you spend less time feeling bad about yourself. this one has no downsides)
take the charger out of the fridge, it's cool enough now. and publish blog entry.
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