Why I Don't Like Officer Carl - Spencer Shay

You guys saw me on my little sister's web show (iCarly) tonight, but you didn't see what happened later, after the show. The BIG sign that Freddie and I made WENT CRAZY and caused 29 car crashes, so I was running away when these two cops GRABBED ME and put me in handcuffs. I wasn't officially "arrested," but the cops were really mad. See, when the sign went crazy, it spelled Pee On Carl -- and one of the cops was NAMED Carl! Talk about bad luck. Anyway, they brought me home and took the handcuffs off me. But here's the weird thing...I asked the cop (Carl) for some lotion because the handcuffs made my wrists hurt. Officer Carl said he didn't have any lotion. But then he came back in and showed me he DID have lotion...WHICH HE REFUSED TO LET ME USE! What is up with that? And even WORSE, it was CUCUMBER-MELON lotion, which is, like, the BEST LOTION of all. Why would Officer Carl TEASE ME by showing me that awesome lotion -- even letting me SNIFF IT -- and then not give it to me? How lame is that? Many Reasons Why I Do NOT like Officer Carl He smells like onion rings. He didn't care about the taco I stepped on. He put handcuffs on me (which kinda hurt). He has long nose hairs (I suggested he trim them, but he just gave me a dirty look). He didn't share his lotion with me. He hates big signs that light up. He does not like sculptures. His police car was not comfortable. He kept bragging about his nightstick. When he was driving me home, he refused to stop at Inside Out Burger. He thinks vegetables are better than pizza (yeah, RIGHT). He got super mad when I called him a "police woman." He wouldn't let me play with the siren in his police car.