I do just post a bulletin every day that sort of assumes you all already know everything about me (apparently it's funny! People do seem to like them) but I haven't really given you any context.
So. My grandparents were christian missionaries in Africa and England respectively and my parents have both worked in the church my entire life. I grew up in London which actually sucks, and I had no friends which was fine because I just read books and wrote shit poems and played shit music and then when I was eight I got into Secret Exercise which by 11 had turned into a severe eating disorder. I somehow drank my way through a Fine Art degree in college and then Creative Writing at Uni, with a brief break in First Year to first attend rehab and then a week under a section for my eating disorder. Briefly lived in a park. Graduated and immediately left London.
To a city I had never been to with an abusive fiance who was the only person I knew within a 300 mile radius and who didn't let me make any friends. At this point I was under a section that kept me on an intensive Eating Disorder Unit for more or less five years. When I wasn't in hospital I was at home drinking myself to death on my sofa and trying to kill myself. I got diagnosed with a bunch of shit - depression, anxiety, the usual shit, anorexia which didn't feel right and finally BPD which immediately explained everything. After four years of this the abusive ex confessed he'd been banging a teenager at work and moved out. I had just got out of a three month hospital stay during which he had never visited.
My best friend immediately moved up from London - short term, we agreed - and then we sort of ended up in a relationship (he is the cutest ever he is called Matt I've known him for a decade and we had the greatest meet-cute ever) and whilst I did spend three months last year in hospital I am doing better now with my eating and drinking. The BPD does still suck and I am genuinely an insane person but I'm also dead good at Mental Health now and am proud to do the work I do. I've fought long and hard to get where I am but I have always said I don't care what happens to me, I just want to help others and so I'm being entirely honest when I say if I spend an evening talking a stranger off a bridge over the phone it is a selfish act. I am doing exactly what I was born to do.
And when I'm not doing that I'm still curled up on the sofa reading my pretentious books and writing bad poetry.
Also I came out as non-binary at the start of 2021 and after two decades of viciously, violently hating myself I am learning to love myself for the first time.
I am completely candid about all of this to everyone and I am that way because I truly believe that the way to fix the mental health crisis that we are watching unfold is to talk about it.
The priorities are, and always will be, art of any form and Mental Health. (Politics also but I'm trying to keep that off here for now!) So that is my full About Me but the point is: as bad as things get, and they can get BAD, it is possible to bounce back and if you're ever in doubt I hope you feel able to reach out. To any safe space but also to me if I can possibly help. ♥️ It's all love!