Moving, Again

She really enchanted me, and it was like I went on self destruct to match the danger in her sway. I followed her every word, and my peripheral fell black while she took everything and everyone away from me. I had a job, I was in college, I drove a nice car, I had a functioning marriage. I am, and was Poly, as is and was my husband. And it was the two of them first, but I began to fall apart and I sent my own husband away, while my life fell to pieces. I lived in my car for a while, when I came back to bend in January '21. It was the most hellish time and thinking about it just sends me into a panic, but it's been 5 months since then.

I lost my family, I lost my husband, I had to buy a fifth wheel on impulse so I didn't need to be in my car anymore, and I didn't check it out before i passed $500 across this man's hand. I'm sick now, and I can thank the roof leaks and black mold for it. Now i'm moving into an apartment, what's this mark, move number 4? or 5? I'm 21, i've been working for less than a year, I've had 6-7 jobs, and lived in 4 different cities in the last year. 

I got my husband back, and my family. I'm getting into my own place and I can afford it, I have a job and I love it. I have a new car now, my last one, the one I was living in, had its engine blow. I told my ex to beat it, after she became verbally abusive, and when I did that, she gaslit me. I still wonder If I became an abuser to her, because that's what she told me I did, but I really don't know. I'm such a peaceful and kind human, I just can't imagine I would.