tw// mention of drugs, violence, mental health
kind of a follow up to my previous posts but everythings got worse.
1. all my friends are fading away because theyre convinced im an awful person now, some of them ive had so much background with and weve been through so much but this whole situations just caused them to despise me and every single one of them are just pretending they dont know me.
2. the girl who originally beat my friend up has alot going on at home so i dont blame her for this at all; many mental health issues run through her family and she has bipolar and a load of other problems, shes been taking drugs and stuff and a few weeks back she got her cousin whos also got issues to try and k!ll someone who she had a problem with which ended in her cousin being sent to a mental hospital. if she knows more people like this then its highly likely she could try and get someone on me and my friend aswell, or even try and do it herself.
3. insanely worried for my friends mental health going through all of this, i know i bang on about this situation but its nothing on my end compared to what shes going through. theres other people who have problems with her on top of this who litterally want to murder her, her home lifes awful, shes the target of all of this im just involved because im on her side. i dont know how id still exist if i was on her end of it all and she keeps telling me shes having thoughts and im just scared for her.
4. the only people who believe me and my friend are 2 teachers and our parents. our heads (principals for the americans) who are trying to sort out this whole situation dont even believe us so we could be punished for things we didnt even do now.
on friday we had to all be brought together to have a chat about it all (didnt work at all). didnt go well, after that my friend had to ditch lessons all day to have a panic attack in the toilets, i just felt so sick, cried multiple times and had a panic attack. when i got home i just couldnt stop crying and physically couldnt talk, i had to explain the whole situation to my parents so theyre worried for me aswell now.
im just way too sensitive at the moment and i have to visit family tomorrow and my cousins just an asshole and if she says one thing mocking me then i dont even know anymore.
ill try and stop talking about this now because i dont wanna be overwhelming people, this is just an easy way for me to talk about the things i cant talk about in real life.
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