Knorkator - The Schlechtst Of (Music Review)

I will post this in my blog as well as in the Obscure Music Group Forum :

 

Knorkator is a German Industrial Rock/Fun Metal/NDH band from Berlin. They were founded in 1994 and are active until today, but I know them only a year or a bit more. But since there, they stood in my heart.

I will review their first album, The Schlechtst Of (also known as The Schlechtst Of Knorkator), which was released in 1997 as LP, in 1998 as CD and as re-issue CD in 1999 and 2013. “Schlechtst” is the German word for worst, by the way. Knorkator consisted of Stumpen (voc), Alf Ator (key, voc) and Buzz Dee (guitar) back then, they still are the core members, but they also have a drummer and a bassist now. All lyrics and music are written and composed by Alf Ator.

Let’s begin with the tracklist! The album consists of 13 songs that have a total duration of 44:27 minutes.

I will comment on every song later on. Let’s check the cover and booklet.

As you might have already googled, the album cover tells pretty much what music you expect on the CD. It shows Alf, Stumpen and Buzz Dee’s heads photoshopped onto their naked legs. In the booklet there are some gross images I don’t want to explain more clearly, I don’t like them, they don’t fit in. But they also have some pictures of the members, not that beautiful too, but more viewer-friendly ^^ all lyrics are included.

 

Now let’s come to the music! (Translation of the titles cursive)

1. Absolution (Absolution)

Knorkator’s first album begins with a song that may distract you at first. Latin opera and cheesy synths? What seems to be a boring opener, is actually one of the true classics by Knorkator. Because as harmless it seems, when you listen carefully, you will view it with other eyes… :D In the second verse, the voice suddenly gets unexpectedly higher and higher. This happens to be Stumpen’s speciality: The 1,70 m short hairless hyperactive singer can sing incredibly high falsettos. This will be an recurring element of Knorkators songs and is one of the factors, that make them unique. Absolution is a popular concert-opener and every fan loves it. It is dubbed as “the most beautiful song in the world” by Stumpen. It was first released on the EP “A” in 1995.

2. Schwanzlich willkommen (Cock-felt welcome)

The second song, an energetic groovy piece, is about newly discovered people in the Peruvian rainforest, that use “cock” instead of “heart” in their proverbs. The United Nations decide to adopt this way of thinking and let our cocks beat higher. It is interesting, how positively stupid lyrics can be. I think this song is a bit underrated, I like to play it on the guitar, too.

3. Ich geh sowas von überhaupt nicht (I’m not bearable at all)

Dramatic melodies over thriving industrial beats – singing about how intolerable one is. The lyrics are a bit weak, but it is a solid song.

4. Ich will nur fickn (I just want to fuck)

A song about an unhealthy relationship and sexual urge. Popular for moshpits and crowdsurfing waves at concerts like Wacken.

5. Der Werwurm (The Wereworm)

This song is the secret star on the album. It is a lyrical masterpiece about a man who mutates into a worm at full-moon, crawls through the sewers and lays his eggs into the testicles of clueless toilet users. But also musically, Der Werwurm is a real… well, earworm. Stumpen reaches his highest note in this song, an incredible C6 (you can’t even find this on an acoustic guitar!). Sadly, this song is not that often sung live, maybe because it is really, really high (but you can see live recordings, so it’s not impossible for him!)

6. Konflikt (Conflict)

One and a half minutes, describing the sounds of fight moves of a drunk conflict about somebody’s girlfriend.

7. Klartext (Clear words)

Another classic. In this groovy song you can learn about a rockstar’s life and which words rhyme with Knorkator. This song also has a version that is sung by Stumpen’s daughter – in child friendly language. They also mock their early concert hosts or moderators, that unknowingly pronounced Knorkator in English (“Knorkayter”). Klartext was released with Böse and Weihnachtsschimpfe as a single.

8. Kurz und Klein (Smashing into bits)

Knorkator of the early days were infamous for destroying their instruments – predominately to this song.

9. Weg nach Unten (Way down)

Weg nach Unten was the first or one of the first real hits of Knorkator. It is a calm, soft song with an unbelievable atmosphere, telling about someone, who digs himself into the ground, running away from the hated sunlight and loneliness. The narrator suddenly finds himself in Australia, noticing he has dug too deep. What first seemed symbolic, is taken literally. Still, the melancholy of the melody takes you into deep thoughts. Weg nach Unten got a maxi-single release with three remixes and a bonus song in 1999, and it also occurred on the two following albums in original and remixed form. There was a very good music video made which has about 1.3 million youtube videos today.

10. Es kotzt mich an (It pisses me off)

Knorkator’s answer to some first-world problems everyone knows and hates. Musical summit of this song is – next to the heavy industrial beat – the guitar solo, containing the first part of Chatschaturjan’s Sabre Dance.

11. Böse (Evil)

Böse is also a well-known classic. It is a persiflage of Rammstein and similar bands, with the singer (Alf Ator, this time) being proud of being really, really evil, like pointing at people, snacking after brushing teeths or not flushing the toilet. As I said before, it also was released as a single with Klartext. Böse also has a music video, released on a later single, but it is not available on the internet.

12. Ding inne Schnauze (Fist into the face)

Slow people crossing the road? Annoying kids? Wifes that ask too much? There is a solution…

13. Mich verfolgt meine eigene Scheiße (My own shit is following me)

Sometimes I really want to look into Alf’s brain. Or was this song inspired by a real story? We do not know. What matters is – texts like these are exactly what makes early Knorkator. Weird, gross, uncensored and insane. It is some form of art. Anyways, the title tells the story. With every new visit of the toilet, new shit starts to stalk the narrator. He loses his job and house, but by teaching the sausages circus tricks he gets famous. Happy ending. Only women aren’t attracted anymore.

 

With this album, Knorkator started their professional career. Two similar albums followed immediately, Hasenchartbreaker (harelip chartbreaker) and Tribute to uns selbst (Tribute to us), until the first changes in style were noticeable. But Knorkator stayed being their own thing and they are still making excellent music to this day, in fact, there is a new album planned for Autumn 2022.

I know, the song descriptions may distract some of you, but if you like the music alone, and after viewing and understanding the concept behind the band, you will begin to appreciate and like the texts as well.

I recommend you watching Knorkator perform live, they have awesome gigs.

 

Stay safe!