Poem: Perfect Recall

I once called you my inspiration

At this, you had few words

The soft touch against my cheek
My words expressing my passion while
Your hands speak

You showed love with your hands. 
I'd feel blessed with them pressed against my chest as the light of the morning woke us. 
Before your eyes opening, you search my body for the right thing to say. 

My mother taught me
When things gow downhill
Communication is key

So why the fuck was I surprised when
Push came to shove
You spoke with your hands

I've yet to rid myself of the 
Muscle memory, when I
Drag my fingers across her 
Skin
I trace the curves of your
Body

And the way she stares teaches me 
I haven't forgotten to
Cock aside my spine
Dodging imaginary punches as she
Reaches for my hair

"I'm sorry I pushed you"
I'm sorry I PUSHED you??
Within minutes, revising our history just
Whatever you need to suit your needs

Gaslighting me
Manipulating my fucking brain
Violating me
A permanent stain on my conscience
When I start to question my own
Perception of reality

I got two blessings
I know
My feminine hips and perfect
Memory

But memory no longer serves me when
The wrong turn of phrase puts me
Back in that place
The hallway where your 
Screams
Turn from pleased
To obscene, and
My body
Trapped
Stiff in front of

Her

Her concern doesn't soften
The glazed over gaze
Of someone who just
Isn't there anymore

My new fuckbuddy
Won't get rough with me
Because she saw
Me
Flinch from
Flashes of past violence

Stiff

Cold silence
Pressing my 
Eyes shut to finally
Allow tears to 
Wash away your smile, and
Reflect back your fist
Impressed against my chest

Your apologies, a rare blessing
Admitting wrongs that even today
You would refuse to confess

So here's my testimony
A reason for memories
To serve me

You are my inspiration

Silence your hands
Because that
Is not
A goddamn compliment


3 Kudos

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