I'm scared of people

Before I knew that fact of my life, I tried my best to be confident in social situations, now I am deathly afraid of people because now I know that I am not exactly "normal" and I am afraid to fuck up. The anxiety around having to act in a specific way to be treated with respect and consideration has torn away at the small shred of confidence I used to have to the point that I am afraid of getting a job.

Everytime I try to start a side hustle something stupid like my address is not accepted or I just don't have the funds to initiate anything. I dont know what to do with my life and it's so bad I had suicidal ideations a bit over a month ago and I checked myself into the hospital for my own safety. I am tired of feeling like my life is worthlesn because I simply do not meet the expectation of what an adult is supposed to be. I'm stuck.