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hello hello hello!
long time no see..
i honestly forgot i had started this blog; i was originally planning to update it as frequently as i could, but the month of October hit me like a bus and i made one last entry on 10/2/2021.
god, September was truly the last semi-awesome month i had before sh*t hit the fan.
there WAS some good, in my entirely busy schedule, like me finding my twin flame and such... <333
but November took every last bit of strength i had in me, due to the fact that i was in the emergency room on the 18th of November, 2021, for a very rapid pulse that would not go down and some arm pain.
everything turned out to be good, i was released after my heart rate lowered from 130-150 bpm, and it was all fine until i went back 2 days later.
again, my heart rate had been way too fast, and this was the onset of my now, extremely severe, somatic and hypochondriac OCD.
everything turned out to be good, i was released after my heart rate lowered from 130-150 bpm, and it was all fine until i went back 2 days later.
again, my heart rate had been way too fast, and this was the onset of my now, extremely severe, somatic and hypochondriac OCD.
apparently, i have a hyperthyroid which causes my inappropriate sinus tachycardia; if you do not know what that is, basically, it is a condition that literally anything, wether it be exercise (even gentle exercise) or even so much as standing can cause your heart rate to accelerate. it's honestly very annoying sometimes and i really wish i could go back to having a normal heart rate, but it's whatever, i'm trying my best to handle it.
and i could also have POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) because i have all the symptoms of it.
but yeah- because of all of this, it triggered an OCD relapse in late November that has been absolutely very hard to get out of because now my OCD uses heart problems as a threat to myself.. since OCD can go, "do this or else (insert fear here) will happen!", my OCD uses my newfound conditions as a great threat! haha! yay!
i'm not OCD diagnosed, but i'm beyond 100% certain i have it, so luckily, in a month, i have a therapy appointment to discuss my OCD, and other possible mental conditions.
i'm not OCD diagnosed, but i'm beyond 100% certain i have it, so luckily, in a month, i have a therapy appointment to discuss my OCD, and other possible mental conditions.
but yeah, i just wanted to update!! and i know i make the past few months sound bad, honestly, it's been a great period of growth for myself and if anything, i'm doing better. i'm also getting over my seasonal depression, learning more about the twin flame experience since i found out i'm with my twin flame, singing more, and trying to better myself.
since my OCD has taken a turn for the worse, though, i will try to update this more!
much love to you all. <3
much love to you all. <3
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kaden
sorry you have to deal w that :( i hope youre doing okay though!
thank u so much!! and thank u for being an active follower of my blog
by kate; ; Report
ofc!! :D
by kaden; ; Report