Virtual Diary Log 29 ( Trigger Warning: Unaliving and Depression)

Anyways, another thing is that the day I went to the lawyer to talk divorce my husband decided that was a good day to finally reply to me and answer my calls. He said he wants to mend his relationship with his daughter and that he misses her. Which is great but where was this motivation three months ago, ya know? He said I drove him to depression and made him feel like unaliving himself. He hasn't obviously. And he is actually responding to me and answering my calls. Which I mean, I don't call often, just when he says he is free. And I only text him when our daughter is free to talk or if we are busy. So we aren't speaking like OFTEN but still its more than when he was saying NOTHING. 

So yeah. That's been my week and a half so far. I have a lot of feelings about it because I'm not used to having him reply to me or even read my messages so now that he is doing that my brain can't comprehend it and wants to know why after all this time. Like how hard would it have been to send a message saying that "im still in a dark place and need you" ?! Like I am your wife with all things considered. I would have BEEN there for you. That's what I get for going back to him the first time he cheated. I should have left. I should have told him no and left. He would be melting in my hand by now if I had done that. Maybe things would be better if I had left the first time. Doesn't matter now, I didn't leave cause I was like one month PP and had major PPD. Like big time. Don't think its gone away either. 

Anyways I'm going to log off now. Just wanted to update everyone. You should add my snapchat if you want like daily updates haha @queenjess82919 . See yall later bye!