evil is good -- tales from a recovering addict

Something I don't think is talked enough about when dealing with addicts is the internalized mentality that can develop that evil is good. I am addicted to amphetamines, alcohol, and marijuana. Addiction comes with a lot of shame and other negative emotions directed towards yourself and actions which you cannot seem to control. At a certain point in some peoples' addiction, to stop themselves from becoming completely self-hating, it is common for them to take on the mentality that evil == good. I was this way once, and still am to an extent, although I try not to be. This mentality is basically that your goal is to become as bad as possible. You will do everything you can to go hard and go fast until you die an early death, and you are okay with this. This helps you cope because you fully embrace your harmful behavior; you give into it, rather than pushing back, which is exhausting. Where this really becomes harmful is when people apply this mentality to others, and try to make other people their worst selves, too. They may do this on purpose and gloat about it, or they may not, it depends on the person.

If you know someone like this, please don't be upset with them or get angry and yell. The opposite of addiction is connection. Be there for them, and be strong. Addiction is hard for everyone involved. Thank you to everyone who helps by loving addicts and supporting us.

<3