dailyRoutine: 2-16-2022

Earl concert later on today. Will put together a written plan discussing Johnny's idea, as well as a breakdown of the cost: full analysis and all.

Payment: piece by piece or etc. idk. i dont really want to discuss payment

last month i was hustling a lot more i feel, maybe it was the amount of jobs i had at once. One thing was for certain: I delayed it all. Regardless of price or time, I was slow to each job i did, and it was a bad representation of character, albeit an accurate one.

maybe it is the phone. maybe its the addiction of minor dopamine rushes.

currently i eat a lot and i sleep a lot and i use my chapstick a lot and i sleep alone and i play a lot of videogames when i could be doing something like working on a resume or something else. My lack of discipline makes me spineless like a jellyfish, and i dont want to be a jellyfish anymore :(

once i feel that dopamine rush everything changes i fear. it comes in bursts like when you're under a blanket and suddenly it gets cold but the warmth of the blanket protects you so you start shivering with excitement.

The more i write online the more comfortable i get with organising my thoughts. I'm using these daily entries as a way to not only document time but determine my writing voice. most of the time these probably come off as ramblings because they are. we should get used to late night blogging, would be better for us too.

do i lack the enthusiasm to be a good person? is this only me? What can i do to better myself? i need to go to the doctor i think theres something wrong withmy attention span:/