Blog Upd8 1 (Feb 10, 2022)

I should probably be doing actual work right now. I'll probably wind up putting it off and then rushing to do it over the weekend. Oh, right, speaking of the weekend, Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm planning on spending Saturday with my boyfriend Carson. I... don't really know how to feel about him. We've been dating for a while, at least a couple of months, but... I dunno. He's very kind to me, kind of like a golden retriever. I like being with him, but my dumb people pleasing nature makes it so that I don't do things I actually want to do, like dye my hair or get a tattoo, unless someone close is behind me. It used to be my mom, that I couldn't do it cause it would scare her and she'd be mad. Now that I'm with Carson, he doesn't feel very strongly for or against what I do. But when he says he likes my hair better blonde, I feel like I should keep it blonde. I feel like he's... almost too good for me as I am right now. Like I need to fix myself before I try to be with others. Fuck... I don't know man.