Romance

Valentine's Day is approaching. I don't know how to feel about it. This is supposed to be my first time celebrating and I am not looking forward to it at all. My love is all the way down in Florida and I am up here in Michigan. I also worry that there's something I don't know. I don't want to have doubts in my relationship but I can't help but be skeptical. This is my first time doing the whole relationship thing and I just don't know. I want to believe that this is a good thing I have going on but I do not want to be delusional. He does calm me. He is everything I never knew I wanted. I guess I just have to see where God takes us. I miss him so much it hurts. I just don't want to make a fool of myself. I am 22 years old going on 23 soon and have never had any real feelings for anyone. But is it so outrageous to think about something like this for myself ? My hopes aren't down, they aren't that high either. I have to stay on the safe side of things when it comes to my heart. I don't want my first experience with love to be a complete failure. I am so scared of this failing, is it crazy for me to admit that I am more scared that this will actually work ?? What if I end up marrying this man. That's the true terror. I am afraid. I wish I could express this all to him but once again, I am terrified. I just have to hope that everything is good in the end. When we met I was for sure not looking for any type of a relationship, but God says this is what I am supposed to be doing and I trust him. I have been hearing and seeing His messages and I know that there is good in this. I already believe in Him, I just have to believe in myself and in this relationship. I do want this. I used to tell myself that lusting for love is pointless but I want a love with this man.