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Today I got my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine.
Since making the appointment I have been both excited and nervous.
Excited because I have been so anxious for the last year. I have had to work and I've had several panic attacks because so many selfish assholes can't do the bare minimum and my work place didn't "enforce" a mask mandate until November, and even then it was barely enforced.
Excited because I have been so anxious for the last year. I have had to work and I've had several panic attacks because so many selfish assholes can't do the bare minimum and my work place didn't "enforce" a mask mandate until November, and even then it was barely enforced.
My therapist pointed out that I've wanted this vaccine since before we even had one. I knew that I would get it. I would do my research, look at the science, and be comfortable with my decision... which I am.
But nervous? Well, I'm not allergic to anything that I know of. I've had all my vaccinations for school and never had any adverse effects. I got the HPV vaccine when I was younger after that came out. I've never gotten sick from medications and I always watch my symptoms when starting something new so I know what to look out for and be aware of... but there's a first time for everything... right? So yeah. I was nervous.
I actually spent some time typing in the note app on my phone when they had me sit in the observation area for 15 minutes. Let me share that with you now.
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Walked in and a guy asked me how I was feeling today and I almost cried. I took a deep breathe and said I'm doing really good and I could see his smile. He said he understood.
I didn't have to wait long to be brought to a table and the actual shot was even less. Quick pinch not even. They want to observe you for 15 mins so I sit.
As I wait I think about my second appointment in 2 weeks, also a Saturday. I think about how easy that was and how I was nervous for nothing. I think about how I've never had an allergic reaction to any medication or vaccine in the past and how I know I'll be fine with this, but still.
10 mins to go. I brought my earbuds to listen to music or something, but instead I type and reflect. I am watching for others, who's observation time is up, to see what protcol will be when I go to leave. Anxiety says I am supposed to tell the person and not just leave, but who even knows.
6 mins left. A lady is walking around asking if anyone has any questions. I shook my head no, but I def do. I should have just asked if I just up and leave when my time is up. The note says 15 mins but the wall signs all say 20. Should I wait the extra 5 mins?
3 mins... I'm watching other people just get up and go. Maybe that's what I can do. Well good. I might wait an extra minute or two. I'm feeling a little pain at the injection site, but I haven't really been using my arm yet. It was just a pinch and it's already gone.
1 minute. Ish. I'm grateful to these people here. Directing people, doing the injections, setting up the second appointments, and being the smallest bit of support you can ask for.
Time's up. I'm gonna get up, sanitize my hands, and leave.
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I know that's all weird but it somehow made me feel better to just blurt out words.
I'll be monitoring myself. Most of my friends have gotten their asses kicked by the second dose, but a couple had issues with the first. And one didn't have any issues with either lol
Of course, that makes skeptical as all hell because they say they usually have some reaction to shit. XD
But honestly overall, the relief I feel from knowing I am half way there... I cannot begin to describe. I will obviously still be wearing my mask in public because my roommate hasn't been vaccinated yet and plenty of people at work haven't. Last thing I want to do is somehow carry it to someone else. I am just glad that I don't have to be afraid of dying anymore. I think that was what worried me the most... getting sick, going into an already full hospital, needing a ventilator, and someone making the decision that I wasn't worth one over someone else or worse... not recovering on my own at all. As much as I felt like I wanted to die last year, I didn't really... I was just in a stuck place and in pain and lost. I didn't want to die and I definitely didn't want to die to some illness. When I go out it will be either at old age in my sleep or a blaze of glory.
Have you gotten the vaccine yet? Which one? How did it feel? Please tell me I'm not alone.
#TeamPfizer
Comments
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Sam Soresire
Ah, and to think... I thought we were seeing the end of this LUL .... I'm getting my booster today.
gdeg
thanks for this! i'm scheduled to get my first shot on the 23rd and i had no clue what to expect. i'm glad that the appointments were so booked since so many people are getting vaccinated 🙌
I will probably be blogging again over the next couple days if I have any symptoms. And I will definitely blog when I get the second one.
by Sam Soresire; ; Report
Lord Byron Silverhand
I got Moderna! The injection site was sore and the next day it felt like stone. Other than that I just felt tired and sore. At least for round one. Round two is TBD in terms of after effects.
Def let me know how the 2nd shot goes. My arm is def aching right now. This is normal and I had this ache when I got the flu shot.
by Sam Soresire; ; Report
I will! My parents got Pfizer and they said that they didn’t really feel anything except injection site soreness.
by Lord Byron Silverhand; ; Report