in my last month of undergrad...

I feel like I've aged a lot in the past year, but not in an "ive gotten wiser'" sort of way, but more like "oh wow my body hurts and my heart feels older than my actual age due to the impact of this pandemic":/

im also very single and couldn't be more desperate to just feel loved again...and to give someone all the unconditional love i have to give. I tried dating during covid (online ofc), but it was just a mess and I couldn't for the life of me find any genuine connections in my area...this part of my life is starting to feel like an eternity. I know we're sort of starting to get to a place of normalcy (got my first dose!) but i just fear that these dating issues will just be my life for the indefinite future where i live.

I guess its also important to note that I was single for the majority of my high school years and I've only had one serious (over 3 years together) partner -- and since we broke up in December 2019, its just be so...fucking lonely. 

being alone isn't completely foreign to me, but these days i just sort of feel like the one love i've had in my life was some sort of fluke and that my current relationship status is just [and ill state once again for lack of a better word] indefinite...i know my future will have some sort of love in it, but i just can't help but feel unmotivated to start a future so unknown and potentially filled with more lonely days.