No best friends anymore

So all my life I'd changing best friends over the time... I allways wondered why I don't have THIS best friend, like in movies or I know from other friends. After all the years I was like "ok, they are good company for a part of my life, not the whole life". Life is changing everytime here and there.. You go to school, then college, then working and so on. But at some point of life you are settled. Settled enough to have the one best friend that is also settled. So what could happen? Right, a pandemy and partners. I left the partner who wasn't liked by my friends and he didn't like them either. I found my souldmate, almost 5 yrs ago. He is so kind and lovely. Everyone likes him and he likes everyone. 

My best friend, I had for 3 yrs. Then she got a boyfriend 10yrs older than her, not even her type. But there must be something that she now got a proposal and said yes. And how did I found out? Right, through a friend of us. And after him I've seen it on instagram. Nothing directly from her to me.. and it hurts. We used to tell us everything. 

I've never told her that I don't like her partner.. he's a douche. But she also never asked. Like she did before. And I think she knows why she never asked on my opinion.

And now I stand here. Without any girl best friend. "Just" my partner, who is also my best friend, sure he is, but I miss a best friend in my life, for now and the future.

I feel alone.