An interview with the guy who keeps calling all of your favourite bands gay on social media

The air is cold and crisp on this January evening as I stand outside a 7/11. Inside, a bored employee taps on their phone, waiting for people to purchase one package of mints to make their actual purchase of a box of condoms less suspicious. 

Like a deus ex machina, music begins playing from the store. This offers me a convenient segue into the focus of this article. 

If you’ve ever listened to music on YouTube, or been on YouTube, or been online, or seen a computer, you’d probably be familiar with the term “internet troll”. While a social faux pas to say in the good year of our lord 2022, “trolling” has become an activity synonymous with any social media use. To define it, “trolling” is an art form loosely based around being as belittling to other social media users as possible, often coupled with the use of bigoted, vulgar, or scatalogical comments such as “SUCK MY FAT NUTS” or “Your mom blows me very very hard at night when you’re sleeping timmy.” 

The purpose of this activity is to bait or induce an enraged reaction, to which one can point and laugh at. Because it’s silly to feel upset. Naturally, this phenomenon has spread to most every facet and subgroup of social media- music is no exception. 

The Rock’N’Roll scene began in the 1500s, when a bunch of monks decided that God was gay and electric guitars were way cooler. In a similar vein, this trend of calling things gay has caught on like an STD in a frat house within online music circles. 

One such man who has hopped on the trend with vigour is a man who goes under the pseudonym God4ever. He, under a multitude of usernames, has been single handedly responsible for an innumerable amount of fights around the sexuality of men who like to dress in leather and sprinkle themselves with glitter. 

God4ever is a man shorter than I, a surprising fact as I am 5’5. His posture is poor; no doubt a side effect of perching over the keyboard. As he arrives, he peers into the 7/11 and waves hello at the bored employee. They do not notice the man at the window. 

“I call ‘em like I see ‘em,” he responds flippantly as I ask him about his choice of homophobic language. We set off towards his flat, a bad idea for any journalist but he has reassured me that his windows are permanently smashed in, giving me an escape route if I needed one. 

“Noel Gallagher threw a brick at my apartment,” he explains. This confuses me further. 

Why? 

“‘Cause I called him gay.”

To his face?

“On Facebook Messenger.” 

I assumed he didn’t read those personally. 

“Musicians.” God4ever peels an AC/DC sticker off the lamp post by the zebra crossing with a face of mild disgust. 

At his apartment, he introduces me to his office. It’s what appears to be a linen closet converted into a miniature room with one computer, a fold out desk and three keyboards. I ask about the keyboards. 

He taps on the F key of the closest keyboard aggressively. “They’re for efficiency.” 

How so?

The man turns and scoffs. “You wouldn’t get it.” 

It’s very fitting that you call people gay from a closet. 

“What does a closet have to do with being gay?” 

Nevermind. 

God4ever begins his daily process. He logs onto YouTube, and with frightening speed begins to comment on the music video for Come Together by the Beatles. “I started off with the Beatles,” he explains. “Then it snowballed into anything I could find. Those gay bands, they just…” he trails off.

Are the Beatles a particularly gay group to you? 

He nods fervently. 

Do you believe that you’re being homophobic?

“Not at all,” he responds. “They’re just gay!” 

Do you enjoy making people angry? 

“I’m just spreading the truth here, guy, I don’t see why people get angry.” Someone has already responded to his comment, exclaiming that “Ringo would never chug dick. What are you saying dude.” 

I look out from God4ever’s broken window onto the street below. If I squint hard enough, I imagine that I can see Noel Gallagher’s angry face.