(05/30/19)

if i wanted to be idealistic about it i could say that it took him a while to come around. that i had to work to grab his attention, serve to be given a sliver of it. i could try to come to terms with the idea that i make it all too difficult and asking for all of someone is too much. so, truthfully, i’ll open my legs and wait for something worth begging for; something that brings me a little closer to honesty, rawness, purity. a form of you that contains no words or false whisperings, just holy deliverance. give, give, give. i want it all. my little firefly in a glass jar stacked upon the devotionals of other bugs. i keep you on the table and let you watch me sleep, imagining you closer and calling it love. your tapping eventually becoming music, your panicked fluttering a dance that i replay over and over.