Report Blog Entry
"If we talk of those about whom we do not speak, haven't we spoken about that of which we do not talk?" From the popular Scary Movie 4. To me, it often speaks the truth.
I have always been a very vivid dreamer. I can taste, smell, feel and see color and detail in my dreams. I can also control my dreams to a certain extent. I can control my actions and what I do, But I can not control the things and people around me. To me, my dreams are like a whole different world I step into. feeling the warm fuzzy blanket to smelling a freshly baked pie looking upon the fresh green grass. I feel us humans know little to nothing about dreams, as we hardly understand why we sleep the majority of our life away. I have tons of dreams to share with you, but I will start off with the one that's been on my mind and that I feel I need to get out there. I will call him D. D was a friend of mine in elementary school around 2005 when I was in an all-boys class. We became close friends and would visit each other homes. I remember going to the movie store with D and him renting "sugar and spice" for me and we watched it in his room. He was on the bottom bunk and I was on the top. we did a lot of things as friends. D ended up moving to a different town and that's when we stopped talking. When I found him later online and tried to reconnect with him he randomly turned around and told me he was only my friend because he felt bad. I was actually bullied very badly. Of course, that broke my heart but I learned to live with it. A few years later after telling me he was not truly my friend I had a random dream about him. I was in what looked like my basement but it was his room. His room was your normal adolescent teenager room, messy and unkempt. Full of his stuff. Things. I can't recall the conversation I had with him but I remember it being a general conversation. Almost like I was checking upon him. I don't remember the dream being negative. I left the room and I woke up from that dream. 10+ Years went on without another thought or dream about him until I started to randomly think about him. 2019 we randomly reconnected online and decided to meet up. we met up and talked about life for roughly 20 minutes in my jeep sitting in a store parking lot. D told me a lot of depressing and sad things. he was hesitant to open up completely about everything and I didn't want to press him with sensitive questions. He refused to let me drive him back home and even though he gave me a hug, in the end, said our goodbyes and went our separate ways something just felt off. My later messages went unanswered and we have not spoken since. I can't tell you how long later after that encounter with him I had the same dream. This time the room was empty. A few fragments of his things left behind. Nobody knew where he was. I was actively searching for him. desperately looking for him but with no luck. I woke up from that dream without finding him. I feel my dream told me that D was "checked out" of life. That he was depressed and he had put up this wall. That he has been depressed for longer than I was aware of and maybe his reasoning for pushing me away. I also felt like that dream was telling me he was not the same person I knew and that he didn't want any sort of friendship. We follow each other on Instagram and I noticed he has seen a few of my stories here and there. I want to reach out again but I am hesitant. I want to be his friend and support him but I feel that he's not what he wants. I have not attempted contact since. I hope the best for D and I don't want him to end his life. I want to know if there is something I am missing from all of this. I wish I could help him.
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )