scared.

i feel like the world might end soon,

uncertainty fills my thougths,

so many things that i am unsure of,

and my hope is lost.

i want my period to come soon,

so i don't have to deal with an unplanned pregnancy

despite using protection,

and i want my covid test to be negative

so i can see my boyfriend again

and i want to have my balance be a-ok,

so i know i don't have to worry,

and i want to be able to build a pc,

so i can be a better streamer.

i want to have the knowledge of the future,

so i don't worry about the now.

even the cherry blossoms can't make me feel better,

no matter how pretty they are.

and i don't let the anxiety usually get to me,

but this year and last year have been full of it,

and i don't like to complain,

but the demons in my room make it hard

and yet they make me silent myself.

eyes everywhere,

no where to hide

but if i do,

i lose time 

in a blink of an eye,

and i want to be fine,

i want to be normal.

and i know i am asking for a lot,

but i just want everything to be fine.

cause i'm scared.

really really scared.

that's all. thanks for reading ig.