in a world of fish

i forget if ive said it, but they say that the plains drive you crazy. something is certainly driving me somewhere. but i am at a standstill. i do nothing except the same things. i need to do somethingggggggggggggg. i wonder if my mind is just playing tricks on me. i wonder if im being overdramatic. my mind is not ever quiet but i have been trying to be acceptant of the nature of things recently. if its not real i accept it and if it matters i accept it. i really need to work on my essay but im too sleepy today. i decided ill get the thinkpad and ask my parents for soldering stuff for christmas, its the best bet right now. i need to sort through my stuff and get rid of some things. i think ill make it, i need to save up as much as i can though. 

thinking about the nature of things, ive been trying to recognize the absurdity more. theres many examples you could use, but i think it is at least a bit funny that mosquito burgers exist in the same world as fake boobs. i always say that i want to and am trying to read more, but i very much am a slacker. it would probably be to my noticeable benefit if i actually started meditating but alas i fail to want to during the times i would have time to. i started taking vitamin b12 and i feel way better during the day than i did before. i feel more upbeat mentally, but it is honestly a bit overwhelming. i feel plagued. somethings are on constant loop, but accordiing to Everyone And Everything I Do Indeed Contain The Way To Stop Everything At Once. He says "The Chicken Sees All"

yupi