DNI LIST [CLICK ON THIS ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY SERIOUS DNI DNI DNI DNI DNI]

Here is my totally truthful and absolutely unironic DNI list because DNI lists are trending again (they aren't) and I felt like making one that is absolutely not contradictory to itself. Pfft, who would make such a thing?

DNI IF: 

You think I should stop talking about the most random subjects ever and that I'm rambling. [Of course I'm not] DNI DNI DNI DNI

You like to make lists and list out things... [What the hell? Sounds like something a serial killer would do, or a seriously judgemental person... Why would you make lists...] DNI

You capitalize on elucidating things with over-exaggerated jargon. [Seriously, get a grip!! How can you over-jargonize simple rhetoric!?] DNI DNI DNI

You use irony and sarcasm... DNI!! [Why would you use sarcasm... And irony...?! What is wrong with you? Gross. Judgemental.]

You have an opinion opposing to me..? [I am literally the smartest person on the earth... Why wouldn't you agree with me??] DNI DNI DNI

You have feelings and emotional reactions... [WTF?? Why would you have that? You do know how some people are emotionless, right? You are being so exclusive right now!! Stop having feelings...] DNI

You are an adult...  [Uhm why are you over the age of 18? Couldn't your parents do it later?]

You are a minor.. [Let's not be childish here, yuck, children-  I mean.. teens, am I right guys?]

You don't ship my favorite two characters DNI [Let's... Just not... It's basically canon atp!]

You make blogs... WTF DNI DNI DNI [Bloggers? Problematic]

You make DNI lists in your blogs [Why are you literally making DNI lists in your blogs... WTF]

You post your opinions and experiences on bulletins.. [It's giving... Oversharing...]

You mock other people's Californian accent mixed with a sultry vocal fry at the end by repeating their words in differently colored text in your DNI list Blog [Yeah like why would you do that?]

You mock people's overly specific and overly exaggerated DNI lists.. [No but, like no offense that's a bit weird and judgemental like... It's giving obsessed...]

Okay I won't put more because it would become insanely annoying to the point my own text would haunt me to remind me of the cringe line I decided to use as a "DNI list essential". But, let's be honest here, DNI lists are often a lot of moral Olympics being performed, it's the constant "I'm morally superior", the constant "I am more woke than you" and now and then there's the extremely specific ones like "If you do even the slightest thing to annoy me, DNI"... Something as ridiculous as "If you have blue hair: DNI".. That was a pitiful example but it is true indeed, some people make up ridiculous DNI lists, I'm not gonna be here to discuss it further, a few people have already done so, but it gets to a point...

Just in case people actually have struggles with differentiating tone through text: Yes, everything after "DNI IF" down to the end of the list is ironic/sarcastic and not something to be taken seriously. Also let's take notice of what irony really is, you wouldn't expect me to have a DNI list like that or talk this way, so even the existence of this blog is ironic itself. While the tone of the text is sarcastic, which means I use things that mean the opposite of what I actually think. There's also the contradictions such as "DNI if you're an adult", "DNI if you're a minor"... I actually saw someone have "DNI if you're over 18", "DNI if under 17" and thought it was a bit silly, a one year difference isn't insane, you're not automatically horrible if you are an adult and you aren't automatically a stupid/immature kid if you are 16 or under.

On a side note, do not take offense for the jab at the Californian accent or mockingly used lingo [which is highlighted in blue text], it's nothing personal, it was actually just stuck in my head when hearing those phrases. 

Actually it is personal, I have beef with EVERY Californian and American who uses those phrases, yes, all of you. We have personal beef to deal with, absolutely. [if you can't tell what's sarcastic anymore I don't know what to tell you..]