Week of healing? kinda? #EpicHealingMoment

My mental health has been on all-time low for few months now- to "combat" this my mother decided to take me on a weeklong "trip" (if you can even call it that lolz), it's been a really stressful time for me despite my mom's best intentions.

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Trip started at 4am where i had to get up and rush to the bus where I drove for over 8 hours, i really hoped that I could finally rest during this ride but no- of course, something had to go wrong. I received a phone call i'd rather not to go into all the details, all you need to know is that it wasn't a good one.  That phone call ruined my mood from that moment on, and during that awful ride, I found comfort in Halley Labs music (more precisely, the Deuteronomy albums). I think I listened to it for the remainder of the ride. I honestly felt really relieved when I finally arrived at the hotel. The hotel wasn't really luxurious or anything, but  I didn't really care, because I could finally release the emotions that iv'e been boiling up the entire 8-hour drive. I cried, held myself, talked to my friends to clam down. I dont know when i drifted off to sleep, but eh at least the day was over.

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I wish I could describe my days more meaningfully. Honestly, the next three days were boring and unremarkable. I visited old churches and museums and aside from the interesting architecture, it was quite dull.
However, the fourth day was one of the best of my entire life. I visited a museum dedicated to animals. One of the main exhibits featured birds and bugs, which I LOVE! 
The entire experience was kinda magical. I saw so many beautiful and unique critters up close. I even got to hold a European Mantis. How cool is that? I could have stared at it for hours. It was so cute, and its mannerisms were fascinating. I loved the way it slowly retracted its forelegs and strolled across my hand. Honestly, I love the feeling of little bug legs walking on my skin. I don't know if that is normal, but I don't care.

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The last day was a "drive day" spent enitre day driving- mostly alone with my own thoughts to accompany me. Again, music was a big help with with soothing my racing mind. I've also doodled a lot and plan to finish some ideas I came up with digitally.

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Overall, the trip was not what I expected. I do not regret going on the trip at all. I bought myself some cool stuff like a plushie of a cow(?i think its a cow at least, kinda looks like a Highland cattle cow) a cheese squishy (yeah, suprisely really fun to play with) and some other cool stuff like a wood-craved pen and a wooden ruller with birds on it. Now I'm home and honestly, I'm glad i went on the trip beacuse i do feel a little happier even tho i do deep-down still feel the lingering burning pain of guilt and shame i've been carring for months now. (now idea how to deal with that yet, but im trying)

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I think that's everything for now, work and my art had been partially slow for the past couple of months. I really want to change that, i've been putting a lot of my time and lots of effort into navigating and managing my (loud) emotions, and I hope I will see the results of that soon. Thank you to people who still stick around and are patient with me, it really means a lot more than you think.

Take care, thank you for reading this (wisp) :]