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No like, just why?
I write this in case someone can relate to what I am about to say since if I am not alone then, I'd be curious to know what keeps YOU alive. Like, my day is basically doing tasks and filling my day with activities both because if I have to live I still want to be valuable, i still want to get good grades and pursue my hobbies etc... but lately it is more like to avoid having thoughts like these yk it is not like I don't enjoy those things anymore, I just don't see the point of everything since every day (for personal things that hurt me a lot (ana)) is a pain. I do have friends but i tend to avoid people or act even happier than usual to contrast with my actual terrible state. So I even look like a bad friend. I know i could tell them but I don't want them to think I am a weak minded person. I would just disappear right now. That's what I want the most. And idk am I alone in this?
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Lilliana
first of all, i want to apologise in advance if i make any mistakes. english isn’t my first language.
depression has been a part of my life for as long as i can remember. ever since i started middle school, it has followed me like a shadow. i was only twelve when i began losing hope. social media helped me more than i ever expected. they told me to talk to a trusted adult, so i did. i sat down with my sister and told her about my thoughts.
i will never NEVER forget what she said.
“you’re spoiled. you’re overreacting. you’re ungrateful.”
i’m fourteen now and those words still hurt. i hope one day she understands the weight they carried, because no human being deserves to hear such things at their lowest.
i remember crying. then, somehow, everything went quiet. the pain became numbness, and the world seemed to stop when all i wanted was for it to keep turning.
from that day on, i never spoke about my feelings again. the pain never left tho.
If you’re asking me now what my last reason is I just wanted to say; I don’t know.
I just live because I don’t want to be seen as ungrateful, spoiled or someone who overreacts.
i never wanted to be spoiled. i never wanted to be ungrateful. i never wanted to be someone who overreacts.
i was just a child who wanted to be loved.
was that really too much to ask for, mira?
Kr1v
My mother is a drag. When my parents divorced she got custody and i had to spend most my life with her. She was constantly unhappy with everything and was poping antidepressants like candy. She was raised as a slave to her mother and was trying to do the same to me. But I broke out of it and when i was of age went to live with my father. This saved me. My father is a stern and demanding man but this is exactly what I needed. I left college on my own accord and went to work blue collar and i don't regret it one bit. I was the same as you but now I am far above what I was and only getting better.
Maho-Tan
Just cop, dude. I live every day in the same way, filled with loneliness and going to college just to be an academic failure, but coping keeps me alive. I live and breathe only to read visual novels and listen to music; that's the only thing i have. If you feel that there's no meaning or smt for your way to live, then cope. Live for your friends (if they're special to you, i dunno, i don't have lmao), live for your hobbies, and maybe try new stuff to not die from monotony. Just a little "advice" from a lonely person, hope it helps or smt (ー_ー゛)