parasocial loser alert vent kinda idk ???

Ok um idk if this is like a weird feeling, but everyone who knows me knows that I rlly love Supernatural and Sam Winchester. I've been interested in it for like almost 3 years, and whenever I go too long without watching it or seeing anything related to Sam it makes my chest hurt and it makes me feel like my heart is flipping itself inside out, but I feel the same way whenever I do watch Supernatural or anything related to Sam so like is this normal or what don't laugh at me guys please