oh to be tragic

I could write entire BOOKS about my love and hate and understanding of the love story of Orpheus and Eurydice through the modern lens. Oh to be loved so entirely that someone would walk into Hell for you, to be so adored that the only solution is to try to bring you back or die trying. And, oh, to love someone so much that you would throw yourself into the unknown, into suffering and the possibility of no return, into no longer being, but the alternative is to be without the one piece of your heart that makes life worth living, and that's not even a possibility, you cannot live without them. Oh to devote yourself to someone so wholly that without them you are not yourself. oh, to be in love. oh, to be loved. 

I have known lust and chased desire, but oh, to be in love, to reach for someone before you are fully aware of the world. Oh, to melt into a touch so familiar you cannot remember a time before it that seems worth remembering. To yearn for a voice in the noise of a crowded space and a quiet room all the same, simply because it is theirs. 

I want a love so deep and fierce and damning that it leaves bruises on my soul. I want the loss of it to ruin me, like when Alexander The Great's lover died and he razed the temple of the healing gods to the ground and declared war upon the gods, declaring throughout the city that there will be no music, no celebrations, time will stop until the grief has passed, bring me the head of the man who failed to save him, let me look him in the eyes as he leaves this world. Let me look at God and tell The Almighty Him "I will not leave without him and I will go through you to get him back."

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