i don’t know how i fell

ive been on and off my meds for both depression & adhd and it’s definitely fucked me up more than not. because of my body adjusting to the lack of medication i was unable to go to school for a good while which made me so upset bcs I LOVE SCHOOL!! 

im also in the magnet program for this school which i worked very hard to get into. i dont know what i would do if i got kicked out. probably never show my face again. 

recently ive began to feel,,,,,nothing? like i don’t feel happy or sad but neutral doesn’t seem like the way to describe it. 

plus some other issues ive been having ive been thinking about checking into the mental hospital again as i know it would be something that would help tremendously. the only thing that has me like not set on it is the amount of missing work i would have. that and not being able to see my friends as much. im hoping to talk to my therapist soon to see what the best solution would be. 

as of right now im back on my meds but still feel meh. ill update after school if i change my mind or something. 

coerboii out 

ps. if you understand the reference in my title ily.