im bad at poetry

god i hate people sometimes

i hate the drama

i hate the gossip

i hate the hate

sometimes ill sit alone

listen to the chatter of a background video

and while i could be thinking about anything else

im stressing about everyone else

i love my friends

i love that they love

but i hate the hate and the way it eats me

the way that the love that is given cant heal me

heal the bleeding bullet holes in my gut

that pour into my mind like a maggot

god i wish it would stop

i wish everything could go quiet

and i could just feel safe

and like nothing matters for a moment

i wish people could just not talk to me

not rely on me

i dont care how many times i tell them they can

its ruins the chemicals in my head that give me the ability to logically think

for once, for myself, i need to sit alone

maybe on a small cliff on the side of a road

and watch the sunset

maybe plug in my earbuds

and watch as our big star turns into specs

maybe then i can breath

and i could love people sometimes

maybe