i almost lost my composure

oh my god, i was super pissed yesterday. i genuinely had to vent out my frustrations to my sister. it was so bad, i was crying out of anger and frustrations, innocent people who were passing by had to double take or give me side-eyes because why would a girl huddle in a dark alley, talking loudly on the phone, while crying? LOL. i'm gonna start rambling now.

so what happened was, the old asshole from my work decided to ruin my day (literally). he came in to the office, acting all mad and blamed me for delaying his work. mind you, i just followed his exact instructions, in which he had approved and even praised me before, days ago and now he's acting as if i was "sabotaging" his job.

all i'm gonna say is: 1. i am fairly new to the job (2 months, to be exact) and no one, not even my boss, in my work told me about this specific asshole's preferences. their exact words were "he's kind of like that because he's old, so don't mind him" and nothing else; 2. before i commit on a task or do anything, i always ask questions and verify everything before handing it out to him to ensure we're on the same page; and 3. he isn't even my boss - he's just affiliated with the company i'm working for. what i'm doing to him goes waaaay way beyond my scope of work. if i was just an asshole like him, i would've just flat out refused all of his specific requests.

it's gotten so bad, i had to lower my tone and speak slowly, otherwise i'd either cry out of frustration (and that's the least thing i'd want for my coworkers to see) or blurt out rude remarks towards him. he wasn't backing down, even if i managed to debunk his accusations and everytime he realizes i'm right or speaking the truth, he acts all stupid and goes, "huh? did i say that? i don't remember." OH MY FUCKING GOD.

i had to suck it all up for at least 2 hours and when i clocked out, i was super quiet and already in a bad mood. i was on my way home too, but decided going home in this state was a bad idea, because crying in public is already embarrassing — i don't want people in the subway to see me cry either. so when my sister called me, i hurriedly stayed in a small alley and poured out everything.

by the time we were done talking, it was already too dark. i also had to treat myself to something sweet, i ended up spending a bit much for an overly sweet frappe in a cute cafe i found on my way home. it was definitely sweet, but i felt much better. the presentation was cute and the barista placed a smiley sticker on the cup. too bad i wasn't in the mood yesterday so i didn't think of taking a picture of it.

also, i was already considering of taking a leave today, but realized it may look like it had affected me badly and i don't want to give that asshole the satisfaction. thankfully, when i went to work today, no one noticed about my sudden quietness yesterday and interacted with me normally. (or maybe they pretended not to notice and bring it up? i don't know; but still glad they didn't ask about it, regardless. i've decided to move on from that incident anyway)

and now while i'm writing about it, i still get pissed thinking about what happened though. i should have punched that asshole.