Lent

What am I going to give up this year ? My new years resolution was to really form a healthier lifestyle for myself and hopefully affect those around me in a positive way. I am making some progress though. I have been trying to stay above things. So lets talk about lent. A few months back, I got into a pretty heated argument with my older sister which led to her blocking me on literally everything. I haven't spoken to her and I truly miss her but she isn't ready or whatever to try to work things out. I have dreams about her all the time I just want my sister back all in all. I tried calling her restricted but of course nothing happened. So which brings me to my lent proposal. I am giving up on trying to make things right. All my life I've always looked out for other peoples best interest when I never get the same in return and I know how cliche that sounds but its true. Its not like I look for anything in return I really just want to be appreciated by those I love the most. It hurts that I cannot speak to my sister but I can't keep setting myself up for failure calling her thinking she'll answer. She's moved on from the situation and is living on with her life so I should do the same. I hate that it has to be this way but this is where we are. I am not stopping there either. I am giving up on all things I pour into that doesn't serve me in any way. I want better for myself honestly. Last year I got a taste of all things good that this world has to offer and I have some down time to get back to doing what I lost the most. I want my lifestyle back more than anything. I experienced so much good last year and also encountered just as bad. I am trying to get my life back and better the best I can. I cannot go on holding on to things that are holding me back from what I need to be doing. I gave a lot of time to others that I don't regret, its just my turn to think for myself. As for my sister, we used to have the best relationship growing up and things went left some time ago and now she's a stranger who I am bound to. I need to release myself from this hell. It eats me up everyday knowing she's peacefully moved on in life without me. Who knows, maybe its for the best. I know in my heart I want her back in my life but from this pint on I will not try to force anything between us. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so I anything in regards to this that happens, must be.