#11 - Love Letter

August of last year, me and you in endless giggles, your eyes stuck on mine as I danced in the spotlight of your gaze. We sat in the same row, everytime you talked, I'd scoot closer until our knees almost touched, I bet you noticed. You watched me draw, coloring inside the lines while you stared intently, either at my hands or in my eyes. Does that memory sound the same in your head? 

I miss you, plainly and painfully. Where my fingers miss tapping your shoulder, my throat misses saying your name, softer this time. I want everything you are, everything you want I'll give, I'll be anything. Hell, I'll play "girl" For you. 

You liked me, I know that now. It pains me to think that our hearts aligned at one point, but mine pushed that sense aside. It pains me to think about you, now I'm stuck with the memory of you, stuck with staring at each other from across the classroom. 

Maybe it was the new-ness of it all. The stench of the classroom of soccer guys that I've gotten used to, the dirt on the floor every Monday and Wednesday. You've enraptured me, I can say for sure, I think of you each night, wondering what we would be if I told you sooner. 

I know you. Every night, you'd tell me why you seemed upset that day, you said that I "got your mind off things". I thought I was obvious, spontaneous gifts and all. I was the first person to put your birthday on my calendar. 

Do you miss me like I miss you? Do you sit restless, chest aching and wishing you would have told me sooner? Do you wish you could capture my eyes again, and dance in my gaze? 

I hated you at one point. I hated how you spoke, I hated how you ignored me, I hated how you acted so.. calm while my head was rushing. Sometimes love does feel like hate, does it? 

I love you, I've become aware of that. 

Stuck talking with our eyes, I know what language you see.