Words and Other Synonyms for Lesbian Sex

I'm writing a piece about the omegaverse soon.

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I wish I were a poet, or rather, that my words held some sort of meaning in the contemporary. That my poor grammar and run-on sentences are revolutionary and not errored. That I could say something is "errored" and it is now a word purely because it was written. 

Errored. Meaning to be right in the past and not exactly now. My sexuality is errored. The modern is errored. This sentence is unmistakably errored. 

Error-ed. Mistake-ed. 

Whether I'll be a novelist or a poet does matter if my work isn't understood. That dissecting my words would be skewed, or my double negatives would become positive. Like as if I said my words are "misskewed"--what I wanted to write, but quickly realized it would be incorrect. 

Double negatives are normal in my vernacular, yet I'm always scared to use them. As if my way of speaking is incorrect, but the English language is so diverse in pronunciation and spelling; why set the standard to be less than?

As a wordsmith, I should be offended by my own bastardizing of language, but the need for creativity begs for damnation. I want to believe that words are more than their set list of meanings. That I could change and adapt them just because it would sound or feel like they belong there. To say something is "betterer" rather than saying "more better", because the sentence begs for a word that doesn't exist. Yet, doesn't it now exist because it was said? It's known that "more better" would be synonymous; then why not allow it to be said as it is?

Creativity is dead and I can no longer sit and blame individuality, the "niche", or AI; God is dead and we kill him--Creativity is dead and we killed her. 

We now live in a restrictive culture. The pendulum is swinging back towards this ridgid state where if everything isn't categorized, it is useless. It's strictly good, great, and unbelievably better. 

The issue is the fear of mediocrity or "starting".

When starting something new, you will be ineviably bad at it. Sometimes I wish I learned how to draw better when I was younger, played an instrument, wrote more, read more, picked up more hobbies--if I did I'd somehow be better. I have time to learn it now, nothing is stopping me, I'm not to late to ever learn how to do something new, but the idea of being bad or not knowning everything about a topic before I do it is terrifying because everyone is somehow better. 

The need to immediately be good at something is stunting trying something new. When we become stationary in our ideas, talents, hobbies, skills, the want to learn dims. 

The solution is easy. Learn something new. Don't know everything about it. Talk about what you know. Be bad at something and want to get better. Make up words, wear ugly clothes, and cut bad bangs. 

I write bad poetry, yet and still, I'm a poet.