Just normal people thoughts.

This is a song you can listen to while you read! Pause or do whatever to your liking. Be careful. It loops.

Song: The Forever Zone by link3

I’m no longer sick. I don’t know what happened or why it happened.

I want to cut my hair so bad. I have had almost every single length of hair known to mankind. My mom never wanted me to cut it when I was a kid. It went down my entire back. Then I cut it to my elbow when I was 10. Then to my shoulder when I was 13. And then to my ear when I was 15. I like ear length the most. I keep going back to it. Switching from shoulder to ear length.

Except now I have rattails. Two from the back of my head. So now I can experience the best of both worlds. Having long hair and short hair. They’re almost always braided. But sometimes I just put an elastic in the middle of them when I don’t want to do braids. I’ve tried bubble braiding them once. It was fun.

Anyways I want to cut my hair. To my ears again. Kinda like a bowl cut. It makes my face look longer. I think.

I don’t like having longer hair in the winter.

I’m so jealous of hat people. I don’t look good in hats.

I don’t feel very present. Like I know I’m laying in bed or writing this. But I feel like I’m floating. Like the world around me isn’t real.

People keep trying to get me to drink. Not in like a pushy way. But it’s now legal for me to drink and people are asking when I will drink. I don’t think I’ll ever drink. A lot of my family on both sides have had trouble not drinking. I just have a feeling that if I drink I’ll like it too much. So I won’t drink. I don’t feel pressured.

I really want to run away. And to dye my hair. Change my name. A fresh start. But I don’t think I should. I’m way too dependant on others.

Everyone’s asleep. So it’s just me here.

When I start school I wonder if I’ll be more open. Or will I just be the quiet one still.

I have an instagram. But I only had it to keep in touch with people from high school. I want to delete the app. Start fresh.

I’ll make new friends. One I can pretend to be extroverted with.

I’ll dress different. I usually only wear cargo pants and a plain shirt. But I’ll start layering like crazy.

I hope I don’t run into anyone from high school.

I probably won’t change. It’s too much effort. And I never use up my energy. But I hope. I dream of being a completely different person.

Being a completely different person who’s friends with completely different people.

I want to live off the grid. I have for a long time. Just the idea of every day being something of my own. One I don’t have to share or think of the huge World wide web.

I could start a small garden. Maybe get a chicken.

I hate living in the city. I know it’s a dream for some people but it’s the worst for me. I hate stepping out of my house and seeing a busy road. The nearest bit of grass is a ten minute walk. And it’s always mowed to perfection. Not a single piece of nature’s very own personality. I hate it.

My skin hurts so much. I have really dry and itchy skin. And I scratch and I keep scratching. I don’t know what to do about it.

I’m getting tired. I think I’m gonna pull an all nighter.

Self promo: https://discord.gg/qkPewrjG3

This is a very dead discord server but we’re friendly. More info in pinned blog.

Published by Broom

Just normal people thoughts.

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