Diary (suicidal dream) #7

i had a strange dream.

i was walking along the railway tracks and choosing a place where i could end things quickly.

when i wanted to get onto the right track just before the train, something prevented me from doing so and kept insisting that i had to keep living, over and over again.

i ran away from that voice and tried to choose a different way to die, but...

i never managed to do it.

i woke up many times last night and cried just as much, and..

now i just want to sleep and forget about it...

i hope that one day i will be happy and will not disappoint my parents with my death\

oh.. while i was typing this, a tear rolled down my cheek. sorry, guys, for such posts.