What the hell?

I dont understand what happened to me today.

When my mom told me to go to the store and buy bread, I decided to go to that store I've been going for the last couple years. And, usually, when I talk to the cashier, I dont stutter, feel anxious or anything, just saying "hello, i'll take this and that please, by card, thank you, goodbye." But today I couldnt even look at this damn cashier. I felt way too awkward. What I'm guessing the reason for that is 'cause they got no bread in there and I didnt want to get out not buying anything. And when I went to the other store, same thing happened. They got bread in there, though. When I got out the only thing I was thinking is, "Why the hell am I so shy and stupid?" 

I'm still thinking about it. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just talk normally to people? It's not that hard, even 5 year olds can talk to people. Not too well, maybe, but still better than me. Even my mom worries about me being socially awkward, I feel like a fucking disgrace to to my family.

But, whatever. I'll just hop to bed and fantasize about having a better life with two dicks. One of my boyfriend's, and one of mine that I cant have in real life. 

Goodnight.