be the cowboy by mitski

hieee im spi the spiral, sharing my thoughts~!

i can never explain the beauty of sadness to the people who cant feel it, but mitski songs are probably the best example. be the cowboy is my fav album of her and today i wanna give yall my takes on each song. (mitski herself said that we can view her songs however we want, so feel free to go your own way)

1. geyser 9.3/10

"and hear the harmony only when its harming me, its not real its not real enough" this song represent a toxic obsession for me, the way loving someone can lead to hurting yourself in order to get to them. is it actually wroth it?

2. why didnt you stop me? 10/10

this is a great song if you have avoidant attachment or npd, it feels so comforting. makes me feel so seen. "i know that i ended but why wont you chase after me?"

3. old friend 10/10

not letting go of something that is already done. the feeling of yearning to have a feeling back in the most poetic way. "we nearly drowned, for such a silly thing" reminds me of my own life, i always yearn to get back. 

4. a pearl 10/10

someone is hurting you, but youre too attached to the feeling to let them leave. even tho you know youre hurting, you still cant help but want them back. for me its more about the feeling. "and it left a pearl in my head that i roll it around everynight just to watch it glow" youre brain finds comfort in the pain they are causing you. "theres a hole that you fill" the hole that THEY caused, and now it only fills by the pain they cause you.

if you had watched steven universe, i head canon she wrote this about pearl. cus she has one of her songs in another cartoon network show adventure time. 

5. lonesome love 10/10

giving your everything for something that still wont make you feel good. you just want to do it, to prove you did this, but is the reward worth the pain? maybe im wrong, i just dont really like love songs so i try to give it a higher meaning (not that there is anything wrong with love, i just dont like it)

6. remember my name 10/10

you can never feel enough, no matter how hard you try, so you seek validation from others. "just how many stars will i need to hang around me to, finally call it heaven?" this line made me think that the reason they want "somebody to remember my name" is because they cant feel it so they wanna hear it. and if this doesnt stop, "to finally get somewhere i can be all done, somewhere like heaven" 

this song touches me so much, cus they get to the point of if i cant feel enough maybe i will feel enough when im dead.

7. me and my husband 10/10

so this song is not what it says, she is singing this with sarcasm (its not my own take, the community seems to all agree the sigh at the start and the way she sings is all sarcasm). "and i am the idiot with the painted face, in the corner taking up space" this song is the things the husband forced her to believe. i relate to this so much, there is someone in my life who makes me feel this way. 

8. come into the water 9/10

well, a love song. again, nothing wrong im just aromantic and cant really see myself listening to this and relating. but this is a great song i give it a 9.

9. nobody 9/10

she said on an interview this is about being insecure about her body. my fav part is "and i dont want your pity, i just need somebody near me" as someone who is never too ugly or too pretty, talking about insecurities feels so attention seeking, this line makes me feel seen. i just wanna get my thoughts out of my brain. 

10. pink in the night 9.5/10

this also reminds me of steven universe if you know you know. i feel like its about the lose of the one you loved. by any cause not just a break up, and i love it so much, so comforting. 

11. a horse named cold air 9.9/10

for me, this is about what addiction does to a person. she says the horse has a big heart, but its empty of life at the first part. then the second part is about the fact that the horse wasnt always this way. and at last she says "i thought i traveled a long way, but i had circled, the same old sin" it can be a great representation on how you keep going back to an addiction, when you think you are fully healed now.

12. washing machine heart 9.9/10

so much nostalgia. still after 3 years of listening to mitski i dont have any thoughts of this song, but it is talking about being insecure while wanting to be loved. "i know who you pretend i am"

13. blue light 9.3/10

this is straight up just about loneliness to me, if you relate, you relate.

14. two slow dancers 9.5/10

i see this as a song about growing up and how much things change when you grow up. mostly, how it feels growing up with someone by your side and thinking about how much you spend together and how small you probably have left. 

so, i rated the album overall 9.68/10

thanks for reading, spi out!