"I'm not doing this with you"

I searched this phrase up and found almost nobody talking about it. This phrase, although not common, I thought had to be the source of SOME discourse online (or in real life). But not really. So I've come here to discuss my issues with this phrase.

Also, please note that when I describe the usage of this phrase, I am talking about when it is used between two friends, two family members, or a couple. Anyone you are in a close relationship with and care about. If you're using this phrase with a stranger... I feel there are better phrases to use.

1. What do they mean?

    Whenever someone says this phrase to me in a conversation, I'm left wondering "Doing what?" Are they done doing this topic? Are they done talking with me in general? Do they just not want to argue? Are they flustered? Are they upset with me? Of course, I feel like I can't ask because they have already prematurely ended the conversation. All the questions I have have to wait until THEY feel like talking again (likely won't be brought back up).

2. This feels unfair.

    When someone uses this phrase, all I see is a cheap, easy way to avoid conflict and/or responsibility. By saying "I'm not doing this with you," they have effectively said "I don't want to have this conversation because I 

    a. Don't have the emotional intelligence to properly engage with this topic but I have an inflated ego, low self-esteem, and/or am in denial, which make me feel insecure when I can't respond, leading me to end the conversation quickly to avoid embarrassment,

    b. Am realizing that you're right and I'm wrong but I have an inflated ego, low self-esteem, and/or am in denial, which prevent me from admitting I am wrong,

    c. Believe that you are wrong but I have an inflated ego, low self-esteem, and/or am in denial, which leads me to end the conversation quickly in victory, rather than explain why I think you're wrong.

    d. Am tired/flustered/drained/angry/other emotion which leaves me unable to properly engage, but would rather not communicate this with you and would instead rather shut the conversation down while framing you as an exhausting conversational partner.

    e. Notice that we are engaging in a topic that has been talked over time and time again and, supposedly, already reached it's conclusion.

Of course, nobody wants to admit they don't have the same emotional intelligence, or admit they were wrong. In all cases but the last, however, the reason behind it's usage is unhealthy, which leads me to my third point:

3. This causes resentment.

    As with all conflicts, resolution is necessary. If there is no resolution, tension will grow. In the case of a friendship/relationship, an unresolved conflict will lead to tension, which leads to resentment.

 Obviously, nobody wants to hate their friend or their significant other, but when you stop communicating and start stonewalling conversations when the other person would like to explain their case or resolve conflict, tension grows between the two parties, and so does resentment. This, in most cases, leads to a falling out, or a break-up.

The solution is simple. If you feel you cannot continue the conversation anymore, give a one to two sentence reasoning, and also mention that the conversation should be had at a later date. And the important thing is to ACTUALLY HAVE THE CONVERSATION AT THE LATER DATE RATHER THAN PUSH IT OFF AGAIN!

In conclusion, the phrase "I'm not doing this with you" should be used with more care and thought because it often is used to avoid blame and responsibility while also building tension and resentment between two parties. The way to fix this issue is to give a brief explanation for walking away, and have the conversation at a later date.

I'd like to see what the people on this site think. Let me know how you feel about this! And if any of you have any other scenarios in which you would use this phrase that I did not list above, comment on this blog!